The Art of Living

2008-08-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

CALIFORNIA KID'S TRIATHLON, Woodland, CA

Gilly had her first triathlon one week after mine. I was just as nervous for hers :)

She rocks.

Some pics...

2008-08-18T00:56:00.000-07:00

RACE DAY
Vineman Ironman Triathlon, Sonoma, CA

Cliff Notes Version:

What a day!

Definitely experienced all the ups and downs of the race, joy and pain. With the unexpected 97 degree heat it turned into a sufferfest, the medical tent was overflowing. Fortunately I avoided the tent but unfortunately I didn’t avoid ‘gastrointestinal issues’, cramping on the bike, vomiting and other misadventures on the run portion of the race.

I felt strong otherwise, but I missed the last run time cut-off by 13 minutes and 36 seconds and wasn’t allowed to complete the last loop of the run. It’s a quirky rule peculiar to this specific race venue. So it wasn’t a fitness or mental letdown, it was of all things, a nutritional letdown.

People have asked if I was crushed that I wasn’t able to ‘officially’ finish the race. Well, it takes a little more than missing a time cut-off to crush my spirit. I mean, I raced in my first triathlon, an Ironman(!) in brutal conditions and was only 13 minutes away from accomplishing what I thought was ‘impossible’ less than a year ago. I’ll take it! (Though I have some unfinished business with Ironman next year ☺) I’m mostly proud of the fact that I never gave up, especially with reports of other racers who quit mid race, unwilling to continue. Mostly I'm humbled and grateful that I'm healthy and strong enough to even attempt an Ironman.

Under the bright lights and loud cheers of the finish-line transition area, when the race official informed me of missing the cut-off and that my race had ended, I sought out my family and team. Before I could find them, a man I’ve never met came up to me, introduced himself and said ‘I know you may be disappointed that your race didn’t turn out the way you wanted, but I’m being treated for leukemia and I wanted to thank you for being such an inspiration to me and other cancer survivors.’

As my coach observed and recounted to our team the next day …”I watched this conversation between Roman and a complete stranger, and after racing for 14 plus hours, instead of just collapsing in exhaustion like others understandably would have done, Roman put his hand on this man’s shoulder and asked, ‘what’s your prognosis, how’s your treatment, how are you feeling?’ They walked away in discussion, and I knew it was the perfect day and the perfect race for Roman.”

Ironman was one of the hardest yet most gratifying things I've ever done in my life. And my coach is right, it was a day I’ll never forget.

RACE REPORT- War & Peace Version:

After 10 months of training-156 total miles of swimming, 3,485 miles of biking, and 700 miles of running, it was time to get it on. That's 4,341 miles of training. The race is only 140.6 miles, piece of cake. Yeah, right.

I’m up at 4:00 AM, about 5 hours of sleep. Breakfast is a glass of recovery drink and a PB-banana-chocolate chip sandwich. This will be the last solid food I’ll have for the rest of the day.

TRANSITION SET-UP
5:30 I’m at the beach, I get body marked, say hello to friends and teammates then set up my transition area. Lots of nervous tension around me with the other racers, some people need to chill out. I’m relaxed, focused. I go through my checklist, set up my gear, take a sodium pill and gu, water.

My goal is to finish the race under the time cut-off of 16 hours or less. My plan is to keep moving forward, enjoy the day, assess & adapt and mostly, have fun!

SWIM
My wave is about to start so I get in the water and take some warm up strokes, feel the cool water on my face. It’s a floating start so we’re all treading water, waiting for the start gun to go off. It’s the calm before the storm so other racers turn and start wishing each other good luck, to have a great race, have great swim. I do the same to others around me. A nice moment. My goal is to finish the swim in under 2 hours, I’ve done the course before in a practice swim in 2:02.

I hear the crowd counting down 10, 9, 8….3, 2, 1, GO! And we’re off. OMG, I’m doing an Ironman!

I’m prepared to be kicked, punched and climbed over so I relax and swim in my ‘bubble’. With the excitement of the race I knew my heart rate would climb so I relax and find my pace and tempo. Stroke…breathe…sight. The group starts thinning out, kayaks are lining the course.

After the first of two loops I’m under pace, wow. So if I just maintain this I should be close to my goal. Twinge of a cramp. I relax my legs. I’ve had cramps on long swims before and they’re not fun.

Stroke, breathe, sight. It’s a beautiful morning, almost peaceful. I see the shore and know I’m going to make the swim cut off. I finish the swim in 1:54. The team is yelling, ‘under two hours!’ Hahaha, that’s awesome! Slow, but awesome for me. I couldn’t even swim 10 months ago, ha!

TRANSITION
I strip off my wetsuit and walk to my bike. I don't run to keep my heart rate from spiking. I’ve been horizontal for 2 hours then suddenly upright so I don’t want to overly stress my system this early since it’s going to be a long day.

BIKE
I start the course in an easy, comfortable gear, manage my heart rate, take in food after 15 minutes so my legs get the blood before my stomach. I tuck in to my aero bars. People are passing me but I let them go, it’s a long day, the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. I stick to my nutrition plan and take in some Tums for cramps and start my sodium regimen earlier than planned. I allow myself a few moments to relish in the fact that I finished the swim, my main concern before the season began. I begin to tear up a little, how far I’ve come, why I’m racing, 5 years of remission from leukemia. When I was diagnosed I wasn't even guaranteed to make it this long. Enough of that for now, stay focused.

I ride through vineyards and beautiful countryside. I’m familiar with the course since we’ve trained here numerous times in preparation. I get to the halfway point, mile 56 feeling good. I see my Dad but am going too fast to spot the rest of my family. I’m under my time goal, yes! I want to have enough time and energy saved up for the run, so I’m in good shape so far. How quickly things change. Two miles later I feel a twinge in my leg followed by a full blown leg cramp. Argh. I get off my bike to stretch my leg. I realize how hot it’s become. I slap on some more sunscreen and take in more Tums and water as other bikers stop in the shade for some relief as well. I’m itching to get going again, I don’t want to waste more time but my leg is still cramped.

I try to stay positive and adapt. I adjust my nutrition to get in more fluids and sodium. I soft pedal to keep from cramping. I had planned to pick up the pace on the second loop but with the heat and cramps I need to actually slow it down. Rats. I come to gradual incline and put it in my easiest gear but even the small effort starts my legs cramping again. There’s no shoulder on the road so I have to jump in a two foot ditch, sitting on dirt and leaves, grimacing in pain as I try to massage and stretch out both of my legs from spasming(?). This sucks. I'm in a bad way.

I would have to stop a couple more times to try to get the cramps under control. Many riders were having the same problems. Even though I’ve increased my fluids I haven’t had to pee in a while, which is a concern. I start drinking more Gatorade at the rest stops, a decision which will come back to haunt me.

I get to the top of a climb and I see my coach, Rand. He runs besides me and says I need to at least keep my pace in order to make the 5:00 PM bike cut off. There’s about 25 more miles until the finish. If I pick up the pace, the effort may trigger my cramps again. But if I hold back I may miss the cut off. I have no choice but to hammer.

I stop at the next water stop for ice and water for my last push to the bike finish. I catch up to some other Team in Training teammates and they look absolutely horrible-salt on their faces, exhausted and miserable. I’m thinking, ‘OMG, do I look like that? This is bad.’

I say to them, ‘guys we gotta go, gotta make the time cut-off.’ They say, ‘oh no, the cut off is at 5:30, we’ve got plenty of time.’ I tell them that my coach just said that the cut off is at 5:00, not 5:30. One of them says, ‘Well I think he may be misinformed.’ I think to myself, ‘well what if YOU are the one who’s misinformed.’

Who do you think I’m going to listen to? The one I’ve entrusted to train me for the biggest race of my life, or someone I’ve just met.

I’m outta here, see ya! I hammer start passing people for a change. I make the cutoff with time to spare. My coach is at the transition yelling ‘you did it!, great job!’

Even though I make the cutoff, my ‘insurance’ time has been eaten up. With my slower pace, cramps and more water stops I lost 50 minutes on my second loop which I wanted to have for my run.

TRANSITION 2
I’m a little ‘wonky’ now so I take in some ice water and go through my transition so I don’t forget anything. Change into my running shoes, put on more sunblock, grab my running hat and fuel belt, down some Advil, Tums and sodium pills and head to the run course for a little ‘cool down’ run, just a marathon in front of me now, ha!

RUN
As I leave the transition, coach is yelling, ‘stick to the plan Roman!’ My original plan is to walk through each rest stop every mile. The way I’m feeling, I might have to walk more than that. I’m thinking with this heat, my plan is out the window, already readjusted my nutrition regimen.

I’ve feeling light headed. I’m guessing this is pretty normal after 10 hours of racing in the heat so I press on. As I start to run, my fuel belt feels a lot heavier than in training so I grab my sodium pills and gu and ditch my fuel belt and bottles at the first water stop. I’ll just drink at the water stops instead.

I know it will be a few miles until my legs feel closer to normal so I just push on ahead until my body adjusts. Only it’s not adjusting quickly enough. My new plan is to walk the hills, run the downhills and run on the flats. As I reach the turn around of the first loop, I’m behind on my race pace. I know I need to pick it up if want to finish under the time cut off. I’m feeling awful. Duh, Roman, did you think it was going to be easy? It's a freaking Ironman. I see a couple of my teammates up ahead and they’re walking, slowly, with their hands on their hips. And these are the ‘runners’ on the team. Oh boy, everyone’s suffering out here. If those guys are walking, I’m in deep doo-doo. I catch up and walk with my teammate a while. She says this is the worst she's ever felt in her life. I believe her. We encourage each other to stay strong. At the moment, we’re in survival mode, just finish the race in one piece.

I see a friend cheering on the side of the road. He asks how I’m doing and I say feel like crap. He says, just put that out of your mind. I’m thinking, easy for you to say. If had the strength I would have slapped him upside his head. Man, fatigue makes you cranky.

I pass through the water stop where most of my friends and family are camping out. They’re whooping and hollering and I smile and wave as I go through. What awesome support, I would need it.

Another friend runs beside me and say I look bloated. What the heck does that mean? When it gets hot, your body’s digestion system shuts down is unable to process food efficiently. So all that sugar in the Gatorade I’ve been drinking hasn’t processed, it’s ‘stuck’. That’s why I feel so awful.

I just keep moving. As I pass other Team In Training teammates we high five or Go Team! By the end of the race it’s just grunts and groans, haha. Suddenly I have to stop, go to side of the road, bend at the waist and start heaving my guts out. Good. I actually want to throw up so I’ll feel better. The other racers are probably thinking, yep, that’s what happens in an Ironman, poor chap.

I get to turn around point and I look at my time. I have to PR the next 5 miles if I want to make the cut off. I know it’s unlikely, but I didn’t come this far to give up. I start to run and try to block out the pain. I see another coach and participant and they ask how I’m doing. I say not good, I have to run the race of my life if I’m going to make the cutoff. They say let’s go for it and they’ll pace me in. So I run with their pace, nice and steady. One of them runs ahead and grabs coke and water for me so I don’t have to stop. What a guy. We start to settle into a nice rhythm. I’m actually feeling the best I've felt all day. What’s that about!? Where’s has this been?! Why only now?! I realize that it’s because it’s almost sunset and it’s a lot cooler now plus I was able to throw up.

It’s getting dark and I only have my (prescription) sunglasses. My regular glasses and headlamp are still at the aid station, I didn’t anticipate it getting dark so soon. They’re no street lights on the course since it’s a country road. So I can’t see. I’m liable to run into a ditch or a tree for all I know. Other runners are wearing glow sticks and they look like fuzzy UFOs whizzing by me in all directions.

So the coach turns on his headlamp and gets in front of me and my friend runs behind me. I feel like the President running with Secret Service Agents. I’m now at the mercy of my 'bodyguards now', if they run off a cliff, I’ll be right behind them. We're flying now and as we approach all our supporters at the water stop I say, 'do not stop, keep going!' They're screaming but I have to run through, head down, no smile, no wave.

As we round the final corner I see the glow of the finish line lights and hear the cheers and energy of the crowd. I’m exhausted but the crowd gives me a lift. I run toward the transition area and see the race official waiting. I know what’s next.

‘FINISH’
He asks how I’m doing and apologizes because he has to take my timing chip and ask me not to continue the race, I’ve missed the cut off. I say I know, thank you for being so gracious. I ask him how much I missed it by and we both turn and look at the race clock. About 13 and half minutes.

Argh. So close. That’s just a few less stops at the water stations, a few less stops to stretch my cramps, a minute here, a minute there. I find my coach and we hug, knowing my day is done. I meet a young man who has leukemia and he thanks me for racing and being an inspiration to him others with cancer. Wow.

Friends and family are starting to gather, hugs and kisses. Some are crying. This race meant as much to them as it did for me. I’m drained but surprisingly upbeat. Would I like to have made the cut off? Duh. But I know I raced my hardest, I managed my race well and stayed mentally and emotionally strong. It came down to nutritional issues.

Some people are saying I can still go out on the course and finish the race ‘unofficially’. There’s no doubt I could have finished the last loop, I can just walk it if want to. But I’m thinking ‘why?’ Just to say I finished? I mean, if that were case, I can just come back the next morning and finish. To me it’s also disrespectful to the race organizers' wishes and especially to the other racers who trained and raced the same course I did under the same conditions. Do I just set some arbitrary time limit for myself? I know it sounds a lot better to say ‘I finished an Ironman’ but my goal was to finish under the time cut off, and unfortunately I was just 13 and half minutes short. I would take no pride in an ‘unofficial’ finish, it would be a hollow victory.

So I grabbed some hot chicken noodle soup and a space blanket and cheered the other racers across the finish line and encouraged the ones who didn’t make the cut off. More tears, smiles, hugs and kisses.

Before I left, some one gave me a finisher’s medal. I greatly appreciated the gesture but I haven’t worn it. But I will when I earn it. This was just a temporary set back and will make my ‘official’ finish even sweeter. The next day, one of the other racers who heard my speech gave me an Ironman logo necklace. I’ll wear that for sure!

I would learn later that it was the second hottest day in the history of the race. There was even a waiting list for the medical tent and it looked like a war zone. Even the overall winner said it was one of the hardest conditions he had to compete in and he had to change his entire race plan to accommodate the heat. So it was tough, tough day for everyone.

WRAP UP
I feel so privileged to be healthy and strong enough to have raced in an event that most people neither have the desire, opportunity or ability to race. I’ve learned even more to respect the distance. I know what it takes, the training, the nutrition, the cumulative fitness and experience to be an Ironman.

I was only 13 minutes away from what seemed ‘impossible’ not so long ago. Not too shabby. The whole experience changes your mindset, it makes it very difficult to say ‘I can’t'. It enlarges your heart and broadens your limits of what is possible. It forges unbending bonds with your teammates and those who selflessly support your endeavor. It reminds you of the power and the passion of the human spirit.

I’m so excited for next year's race season.

2008-07-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

5 YEARS!

I'm so grateful to be celebrating 5 years of remission today.

Life is Good.

2008-04-14T13:46:00.000-07:00

Wildflower Half-Ironman Course Race Report, Lake San Antonio CA (updated video)

Friday 4/11
It's amazing all the gear you need for a triathlon, especially one in which you're camping for three days. So after hours of packing, checking and rechecking my race gear, nutrition, camp gear and other miscellaneous items, we headed down to Lake San Antonio for our Half Ironman distance practice triathlon on the world famous Wildflower course.

Lake San Antonio is about a 3:30 hour drive south from Benicia through Gilroy and Salinas, and north of San Luis Obispo. Wildflower is known as the Woodstock of triathlons and on race weekend about 7,000 people cram into a state park for three days of racing, camping and fun. It's one of the hardest Half-Ironman Races in America, an extremely challenging, hilly course. About 250 Team In Training triathletes would be there, from Redwood Wine Country (my team), Silicon Valley, Monterey/Santa Cruz and Orange County. Since we would do our practice race three weeks before the 'Official' race, we'll practically have the whole campgrounds to ourselves. Arriving in the afternoon, we quickly found our teammates and set up camp. There are already dozens of tents set-up, with a bunch of hardbodies getting gear out of their cars and $5000 tri-bikes off their roof racks.

After settling in, the team had a quick 30-minute bike ride followed by a 10-minute run. This gave us a chance to check for equipment problems and to make sure our bikes and gear were in good working order. It's a good thing, the team had flat and punctured tires, and bent rims. Better to sort those things out now instead of during the race. The warm-up also was intended for a 'glycogen dump'. You basically do a quick warm-up the day before a race to flush out gylcogen (energy stores) in your muscles. Immediately after you refuel and your muscles act like super-sponges and 'tops off the tank' with gylcogen, ready for racing tomorrow. At least that's the theory, it was getting hot and I would have rather rested under a tree instead, haha.

Dinner, team meeting to go over the race, and into bed for a restless night of sleep, typical pre-race nervousness and excitement, not to mention dozens of partying campers. I'll party tomorrow night, AFTER my race. Ear plugs are a godsend.

Sat 4/12 Race Day
I'm up at 5:00 AM, no need for an alarm clock as everyone's tent zippers rouse the troops in unison. I have my usual race day breakfast of peanut-butter/banana/honey sandwich and a recovery drink. I'm feeling rested and excited. Today I'll swim 1.2 miles, ride 56 miles, then run 13.2 miles.

At 6:15 we all drive down to start line about a mile away from camp. It's going to be a pretty warm day. I check in at the starters tent and a volunteer body marks my arms and calves for identification. They put your race number on your arm and your age on your calf so everyone know who's in your age group when you're racing-racing. I'm racer no. 25, age 42. The volunteer actually thought 25 was my age instead of my race number and put it on my calf, thank you very much :). So I have a 25 on one calf and a 42 on the other. I start setting up my transition area, making sure my bike, running shoes, gear, etc. are all set up properly. I greet other team members, 'good luck', 'have fun' 'see you at the finish', 'kick butt', 'go team', and start getting my wetsuit on, bodyglide and heart-rate monitor chest strap intact, grab my goggles and cap, then head down to the water with the other racers.

I spot the three colored buoys we're to swim out to then loop back. They run parallel to the shore and last one is hidden from view because of how the shore curves around. We'll be swimming counter-clockwise with the buoys to our left. They look FAR. I get in the water to warm up and the temperature's surprisingly, comfortably warm. All season we've been swimming in low 50's water so this is a nice change. Countdown begins then we're off.

SWIM
After bumping into several people, our arms and legs swimming over each other, I settle into a comfortable pace. The water's full of these psychedelic little jellyfish-looking organisms floating in the water, thousands of them. I don't even want to know what they are. I've asked people what they think about during a long open water swim. Their responses vary, 'Beating everyone, especially the guys' or 'I think about my to-do list' or 'I wrestle alligators and say hello to the mermaids.' Usually I think about my form and breathing until I can get into a nice rhythm. Then it's all about getting to the next buoy, then the next one. At a favorite beach of mine, there's a little rock formation that I've always wanted to swim out to but haven't yet. So I pretend each buoy is that rock, and swim out to it.

I hit the first (white) buoy and try to sight the next one. No such luck so I just swim towards the kayaks until I see the next buoy. Still a way to go until we hit the turnaround in half a mile. The second buoy comes into view (it's orange). As I pass it I'm thinking, 'nice job Roman, one more to go then turn around and do it again.' I'm probably 25 minutes into the swim now as I approach the final buoy, a red one, a welcome sight. Out of nowhere I suddenly feel two 'hands' grab the top of my head. What the ?#@! Are there freaking giant otters or something out here? It was another swimmer who had 'stopped' me, thinking I was someone else and wanting to say hi. He apologized so I decided not to slap him upside his head for scaring the crap out of me.

I get to the last buoy and as I start to make my u-turn around it, I kick 'sideways' a little to get my body turned in the other direction. Instantly my right hamstring cramps up, ack! 'Okay Roman, relax or it will get worse.' I'm floating on my back until the cramp goes away, but it's not like you can stretch out your leg in the water like on land.

For some reason, my other leg locks up too. Crap (that's my default euphemism for s#!t). I wave to the kayak who paddles over to me. He says 'what's going on?' 'Cramp.' 'Grap the nose (of the kayak), not the side.' Yeah, I don't want to be tipping over my 'rescuer.'

I just hang on for while until my legs start to feel 'normal'. I don't intend to swim another half mile with cramped legs. He offers to row me to shore which isn't far, so I can stand up in the shallow water and stretch out my legs. We quickly do that and as I stretch, the tightness and pain seem to subside. I start swimming a little bit and I feel okay. Mr. Kayaker says to stick close to the shore and wave if I need him. He then paddles off to another swimmer who is having some sort of issue behind us.

I'm not worried about my time, just not cramping up again. So I take it easy and actually have a faster split-time on the return loop, go figure. But after a few minutes, it feels like a little piranha is swimming next to me and biting me on the back of my neck every few strokes. The velcro on my wetsuit must have moved around. I kept tugging on my neckline to no avail. Very distracting and irritating. I would later have a big purple monkey bite on the back of neck, my first wetsuit hickey.

I see the dock and the swim finish and in my haste, promptly swim right into the reeds on shore, 20 yards from the finish. It's very easy to swim crookedly without lane lines to look at. I need to work on that.

Coach Rand helps me out of the water, high fives all around, I find my slippers and start walking/running to the transition. My team manager yells out from across the parking lot, 'nice job Roman, you just swam 1.2 miles, stud!' I do my best Schwarzenegger then Rocky pose.

Transition 1 and BIKE
I find my bike quite easily as there are only a few riders left in transition. Strip out of my wetsuit and put on sunblock, sunglasses and bike gear. I also pop a Thermolyte pill (salt tablets) so my cramps don't show up again on the ride. I get on my bike and start riding out of transition. I'm yelling for the volunteers/coaches to tell me which way to go. One says turn left, another says go up the hill. So I get to the end of the parking lot then start spinning my way up the hill. It's camp sites, it doesn't look right. So I decide to turn around I ride back to the transition area and start yelling again, where do I go? They say look for the yellow arrows on the road. So I start up the same hill and can't find any arrows. As I'm getting to the top I'm guessing the road veers off, only it dead ends and I have to go back down, again!

Great, I just wasted time, energy and heartbeats on a hill I did twice just for extra credit. As I'm speeding down the hill, I'm mentally searching for the perfect curse word, but will refrain from revealing the choice few ones I did select. Once I get back to the bottom, another volunteer sees me and is screaming and pointing, 'THAT way Roman!' Other people got lost as well, but it was my fault for not studying the course map more carefully.

So, I'm finally on the real course then I see the 'real' hill, the first of many for the day. Beach Hill is a steep bugger of climb, you wouldn't want to walk up it, much less ride up it. As I'm grinding up the mid portion of the climb, a blonde hardbody passes me and she asks, 'so are you 25 or 42?' I reply, 'Guess. Nah, 42.' 'Cool' as she disappears easily over the crest. Ah yes, power-to-weight ratio in action.

A nice descent, then out of the park for miles of rollers and flats. I'm tucked in my aerobars, and it's much more comfortable and easy to stay out of the wind. Plus, you even 'feel' fast. I pass a few riders and chat. Others pass me and nod. It's starting to get warm so I roll my sleeves up and unzip my jersey a little to stay cool. My nutrition target is 300 calories an hour, plus 1000 mg of sodium. So I sip my Perpetuem and Carbo-Pro mix every 20 minutes, along with 2 Thermolyte pills and water spiked with Nuun. I remember to drink more water because of the heat. I use my bike computer and heart rate monitor to pace myself at 90 RPMs cadence, and 130 beats/minute.

I mentally break the ride down to three 20-mile sections. Rollers, flat, hills, rollers. Just get through each one, one at a time, piece of cake. Yeah, until mile 40 and 'Nasty Grade' and 'Cardiac Hill, a long steep 5-mile climb with 1000 feet of elevation. It's pretty hot now, so I unzip my jersey all the way to (try to) stay cool, dump some water on my head, inhale a packet of Jelly Belly Sports beans, drop down in my gears, and start to climb.

Now before the race, all the race veterans kept telling me how hard the course was, the hills on the ride and run. You know, why would I want to know how hard it is, the distance alone tells me how hard it is. I don't want things like 'Nasty Grade' in my psyche to play havoc with my mind before I even do the race. I mean, someone took the time to name these parts of the course (and others), pass them down to the next wave of racers year after year, even making it on to the course brochure. It can't be a good thing. So I renamed 'Nasty Grade' to 'Magical Marshmallow Mountain'. As I climbed I kept saying, 'this is Magical Marshmallow Mountain.' Doesn't make for an intimidating course description, but it works for me. Slow, strong and steady and I'm up the hill in no time (figure of speech for sure.) I've climbed harder hills in training (Mt. Diablo being the best/worst), but at this point of the ride, on a hot day, with a 13.1 mile run ahead of you, it really can be 'nasty'.

Quick stop to top off my water bottles with ice(!) water, zip up my jersey and time for a long, fast, fun descent, the best part of the climb. The view of the lake and valley from the ridge is breathtaking. Before the descent I pass a road sign that says 'CAUTION ICE'. Very funny on a 91 degree day. Not. Going downhill at 40+ mph is no joke, you have to be relaxed and focused, constantly scanning the road, looking where you want to go, not where you DON'T want to go. You never want your mind to drift into the 'I'm going really fast right now, if I crash it won't be good.' That's the worst thing you can think about, just stay in the moment and enjoy. I love to bomb the downhills, I probably got up to 45+.

I ride the last 10 miles back into the park and pass meadows with splashes of colorful wildflowers overtaking the bland, brown grass (thus the race's 'Wildflower' moniker.) No camera, so mental click will do. Before the park entrance there's a sign that says 'Prepare to Stop'. Man, I've been preparing to stop for fours hours now, my body would really like to, but I still have a Half Marathon I need to run. What's the deal with these signs? :)

Transition 2 and RUN
I roll into transition and am surprised to see two of my teammates. Good, I'll have someone to run with. I put on my running shoes, grab my Fuel Belt, hat and Garmin 201 (my GPS/pace/heartrate watch), stretch out my back and legs, then head for the run course. My Fuel Belt is filled with Nuun-spiked water, plain water, a couple of Gu packets (energy gels) and Thermolytes. I ask my teammates, 'why are you guys still here, let's go.' They both need to stop at the park's convenience store for 'something' so I figure they'll catch up with me. My plan is to run the first 3 miles way below race pace so my heart rate can settle and my body and legs adjust, then the next 7 miles at race pace, then the final 3 miles at whatever I feel (run/walk/sprint/crawl). Nice plan, out the window at mile 2. Cramps are back, upper inner thigh now. I sit down under a tree on the curb and start trying to massage and stretch my legs back to normal. A lady passes me and asks if I'm okay. I say yes, thanks, cramps. She offhandedly suggest I take more Thermolytes. I grunt as she runs off. Gee, thanks for that suggestion Einstein...and all this time I thought you take LESS sodium for cramps. I'm sure she was just trying to be helpful but I guess cramps, heat, fatigue and blatantly obvious statements make me cranky.

Alrighty then, only 11 more miles to go. I duck into a campground bathroom to pour some water over my head and neck and start moving. I walk up the hill to the aid station at mile 3, and one of the coaches starts asking me how I'm doing, seriously. I said I'm doing okay accept for the cramps. 'Are you taking Thermolytes?' (that question again.) 'Two every 20 minutes.' She gives me an extra Gu, I put ice down my shirt and under my hat, and head for the trails. The next 6 miles are mostly single-track dirt trails, along the lake and up and over a 'mountain'. Since there won't be another water stop the next 3(!) miles, on the hardest, hottest part of the run course, I have to do my best to allot the water I'm carrying.

I start jogging and see boaters on the lake floating lazily on by, not a care in the world. I just want to jump in the lake right now. I can't keep a decent pace as my heart rate keeps jumping into my throat. I change my plan to doing intervals, just run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute. It's so hot I find myself looking to run from one shady spot to the next. I get to a hill at mile 5 and just stop and stare. It's a mostly shadeless 6-foot wide dirt trail that goes straight up. Are you kidding? I thought I took a wrong turn and strayed off course. This can't be part of the race. I start 'hiking' and can barely catch my breath once I get to the top. My time goals are out the window. The heat seems to have zapped all the energy out of my legs. I am now firmly entrenched in 'just finish', survival mode. My mantra, 'don't quit Roman, keep moving."

Thinking I might need the extra calories because of the heat, I eat a Gu earlier than planned. Bad idea. I would later learn that in the heat, your digestive system actually shuts down and can't process food efficiently. So this 1.4 oz Gu felt like a brick in my gut, side cramps ensue. Our coaches teach us to Think and Adapt, so I switch to plain water only and take the tablets every 15 instead of every 20. I get back on pavement and it feels like I have tacks in my shoe. I take off my shoe and my sock has a little seam that runs under the ball of my foot. Funny how it never bothered me in training. I didn't want to take my socks off so I decided to just deal with it.

It was only until mile 9 where I felt half way normal and was able to run in to the finish. Alicia from my team found me on the course and ran the last 4 miles with me (she had already finished.) What an angel. The last mile is downhill then into the finishers chute. Why is it that you can run faster when you're so close to the finish?

Cheers, smiles, hugs and high fives all around. 9:30 hours, what a day. One of the first things out of my mouth was, 'wow, that was one of the hardest things I've ever done.' A 'bad' race for me, but I finished. Time to party, I just finished a Half Ironman. Coach Rand said congratulations to everyone for finishing one of the world's toughest Half Ironman courses in extremely challenging conditions. Bring it in...on three...1, 2, 3...IRONTEAM!

POST RACE
We all drove back to the campsite to get ready for our All-Team catered dinner, with all the participants and volunteers from around the Bay Area and O.C. Once everyone was served, Sarah, the OC Director, welcomed and thanked everyone for making it a great training weekend. She then introduced me and I was privileged to tell my story and say thank you on behalf of other honorees and their families for the difference they've all made in our lives. Unknown to me at the time, Raquel from our team videotaped my talk and put in on Youtube. If I had known, I would have either sabotaged her camera or tweaked my speech a little instead of freestyling. I haven't watched it, but I'll be brave and post it if you want to check it out. Thanks Tri-girl.

Part 1

Part 2

http://youtube.com/user/raqarmas

Once my speech was done, I could finally relax and celebrate. I phoned my daughter Gillian and she says 'Hi Daddy! How was you're 'game' today?' I told her I won. 'Cool, Dad!'

There's nothing better than sitting around a campfire (or lantern :) in the great outdoors, 'hydrating', swapping race stories, laughing, listening to music and being among friends. When I finally turned in past midnight, I had the best sleep in a long time, slept like a rock. I wonder why?

What I learned:

- Transition setup check-lists are our friends. So are coolers with ice and aerobars.
- Leg cramps in the water feel exactly like leg cramps on the bike, only wetter.
- Knowing the bike route out of T1, good. Not knowing and doing two extra hill repeats up the same hill before finally finding the course, bad.
- Heat = kryptonite.
- The WF Course Director must have some serious personal issues and should seek professional help (see Beach Hill, Nasty Grade, the Pit and especially 'Steep Hill' at mile 5.5 on the run.)
- A strong mind is as important as a strong body.
- Finishing is sweeter than quitting.
- Post race breakfasts are transcendent.
- Team In Training rocks. (But I already knew that.)

2008-02-22T10:57:00.000-08:00

HIKE FOR DISCOVERY

A follow-up to my previous post (HIKE! 2/1/08), here's a pic of the brochures and letters sent out as part of LLS's promotional marketing campaign. It's not the best shot, I just snapped a pic from my bulletin board. She's a cutie, huh? I think she was five when they took these pictures as a part of another promo piece. She just turned 7 last month, wow. (Yeah, I'm still bald-ish, haha, and sport different specs [glasses] now.)

(Another) funny story: I stopped in on a Hike Informational Meeting in Pleasant Hill that my sister was attending. I'm signing in at the registration table and the Hike Manager comes up to me and says, uh, hello? Why are you signing in, we know who you are, your face is only all over the place! (I've never met her.) So I got a chance to say hello and thank you to all the Hike participants.

And Trish signed up to hike Yosemite in July(?). Go Trish! Oh my gosh, their training is pretty intense. One of their training days they drive up Mt. Diablo, hike down, THEN hike back UP! Coach says that it's very difficult to 'emulate Yosemite'. Ya think? If you've ever been to Mt. Diablo, that's quite the climb. I've driven and biked to the top several times and it's always a lung-buster, though the breathtaking view from the top is worth it. On a clear day you can see the Golden Gate.

Trish is really excited to get all her gear and to start training. I'll post her website once it's up and running. Yosemite in July will be beautiful. So go do a hike (www.hikefordiscovery.org) or an endurance event (www.teamintraining.org).

Have fun, save lives (like mine). Thanks!

-R

2008-02-14T08:39:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VDAY

Yes, I'm a romantic (Roman-tic, get it?) But not in the generic, mass-produced, Hallmark, Zales Diamond, overpriced bouquets, marketing-driven, consumeristic way (chocolate being the exception :) Those 'things' all have it's place. But more the everyday-romantic-in-me that celebrates some of the thoughts below:

True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. - Anonymous

There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost. - G. K. Chesterton

Love, and love alone, is capable of giving thee a happier life. – Beethoven

The day will come when, after harnessing the winds, the tides and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of Love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. - Teilhard de Chardin

Smile.

2008-02-10T21:37:00.000-08:00

FREEDOM (training update)

There's something about the feeling of warmth of the sun on your face. Quite a change from my last 'monsoon/hail ride'. I was out on a solo 50-mile bike ride today from my house out to Fairfield. Most of the time a solo ride becomes an almost meditative affair for me. Just you, the beautiful outdoors and your thoughts (and cars).

As I rode through one of the neighborhoods, I passed a trio of 10-year old boys on their BMX bikes. Instantly, I was transported back to my summers as a kid, my buddies and I on our ten-speed bikes, with our handlebars rotated up (the 'cool' way back then), riding wheelies, racing around the block, getting home at sundown, but mostly that exhilarating sense of freedom, adventure and discovery.

I think there's still that kid in all of us. Really, that's what the sport of triathlon is, swimming, biking and running, what kids enjoy instinctively. Here I was on my 'serious' training ride, but besides $2000 worth of gear and a several decades of age (yikes), the kids and I were both the same, on our bikes, wind and sun in our face, the freedom to explore, not a care in the world.

2008-02-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

HAIL?! (training update)

Did a 45-miler today out in Petaluma. Cold, raining, headwinds and episodes of HAIL! You kind of tuck your head down so the pellets won't sting your face as much, but then it goes through the vents in your helmet and pelts your bald head. At one point the road ahead looked like a sheet of white, it was coming down so hard, bouncing off the road like little white BBs. I was like, 'what the ?' I had to pull off the road and huddle underneath a big tree, it was the only shelter I could find, country backroads and all. 'This is crazy!'

It does make you ride faster, you and the rest of the team just want to get back to your car and into some warm, dry clothes. All my 'waterproof' gear was soaked, head, hands and feet numb, breath raggedly breathing out cold mist, legs flat and fatigued coming off a 6-mile run the night before. You have to make sure you're eating and drinking enough to keep your energy up. You burn a lot of calories trying to stay warm and grinding through the wind. Three and half hours later I finally pulled into the parking lot and let out a seemingly primal, expletive-ridden diatribe. That felt good.

On one hand, probably the most miserable bike ride I've ever done. You either laugh or cry. On the other hand, it's good to train in difficult, adverse conditions. It makes you physically and mentally stronger, more resilient, tough. You look back at days like this with a sense of accomplishment. It's money in the bank for race day. A little sunshine would have been nice though :)

2008-02-01T14:49:00.000-08:00

HIKE!

Last year the Leukemia Society asked if I would like to be a part of their new national marketing campaign for Hike for Discovery. Of course I'm honored to do anything I can for the Society. Hike for Discovery is a training and fundraising program similar to Team In Training but you get to hike in beautiful (unforgettable, stunning, breathtaking) locales like Yosemite and Grand Canyon.

Well the website is up and the promotional pieces have already hit mailboxes and businesses. Gilly and I feel like celebrities. People emailing me from as far as Minnesota saying they saw the piece.

Funny story, my brother and his wife are ordering take-out at a restaurant in Emeryville. She glances over at the brochure on the counter and says, 'hey, that guy looks Roman.' My brother is preoccupied with ordering and says, 'yeah, it does huh' and goes back to ordering. She goes over and picks it up and yells OMG! It IS Roman...and Gilly! Cool!

My IronTeammate Beau said it was in their race packet at the Disneyworld Marathon. My other teammate Sedonia wanted to put it in her pocket so she could say she 'ran a marathon with Roman.' Beau wants it autographed (I haven't figured out if he's serious or not.) I told him I wouldn't even charge, haha.

I was even at my gym earlier this week and the brochure was at the front desk (yay 24 Hour Fitness). I tapped the lady there, pointed and said, 'check it out, that's me!' Smiled. And exited stage left as she stood there mouthing 'hey, wow'.

I have a few more stories like that from other people too, old friends, teammates, Gilly's teachers, coworkers. Fun.

Hike is such an amazing and much needed program. I'll try to Hike this year though it overlaps with Ironman, but for sure I'll be keeping in touch with the team throughout the season.

If you're at places like Fleet Feet, Sports Basement, REI, sports stores, restaurants, gyms you may spot the brochure. Or you can contact me and I'll send you one, the Home Office in NY sent me a stack.

I'll put up some pictures of the brochures/letter later but you can check out the website. We're in the banner movie on top of the page, and our picture and story is at the bottom. It's signed Hike for Discovery Spokesperson so since I'm the Spokesperson, you all have to go out there and do a hike :) Yosemite and Grand Canyon. Can't beat that!

Check it out here: www.hikefordiscovery.org

2008-01-28T09:38:00.000-08:00

LOUIE TRI! PART ONE

7th Annual Louie Bonpua Memorial Olympic Distance Triathlon at Treasure Island, Sunday, Jan.27, 2008

(Early a.m. view from the transition area)

MORNING
Cold and wet, what a great day for a race! .93 mile swim, 25 mile bike, 6.2 mile run. This would be my first Olympic Distance Tri. I decided to wake up excited instead of nervous. My goals were to finish, have fun, and learn from the race. This is a special race because of the person it was named in honor of, Louie Bonpua. I'll save his amazing story for the end.

At 7:45 a.m. we drive into the huge parking lot and we're treated to a spectacular view of the City skyline and both the Bay and Golden Gate Bridges in sight. Stunning. The place is already abuzz with 150+ Team In Training athletes, staff and volunteers. I check-in, get my race number and body-marked, pre-race greetings to friends, then start laying out my gear at the transition area. Wetsuit on, team meeting to go over the course, then a short walk down to the beach.

Setting up in transition

THE SWIM

I'm in the green cap, my buddy Jun in red

I'm not a swimmer. Sure, recreational swimming in the pool, but open water and lap swimming, never. But hey, I'm training for an Ironman so I better become a swimmer. So I started lap swims four months ago along with a few open water swims. My first open water swim in Lake Berryessa last November was very, shall we say, 'eventful' and probably one of the top 5 times I've been most scared in my life, and I can't even remember what the other 4 were. Going from an indoor pool to this vast body of open water, no side of the pool to hold on to, can't reach or even see the bottom, the thought of drowning, and don't forget those sharks in the lake (hey, it could happen!) But what's life without facing fear and doing it anyway. (Easy for me to say now, but at the time, the thought of quitting and swimming back to shore crossed my mind. I did finish though, yes! )

So now I get to jump into the cold SF Bay, not a lake. I told myself that I don't have time to be scared, I've got a mile swim ahead of me, four laps around the buoys.

My plan was to relax, take one buoy at a time, one lap at a time. I seeded myself in the first of four groups, slower swimmers first, faster swimmers last. 3,2,1 GO!

I do a 'Tarzan' stroke (head above water) for a while so I can navigate all the feet and legs splashing around. I did get kicked a few times and people bumping into me, but no big deal. Once things thin out, I put my face in and start swimming. The water's cold but after a while, your face, hands and feet get so numb you can't really feel it.

I finally get to the buoy for my last lap (lap four) and saw most/all of the swimmers around me heading to shore. But I just kept going, one more lap. Then several minutes later I saw kayaks 'surrounding' me and I thought, 'Great, I must be one of the last ones out of the water. Personal kayak escort again. Or maybe they've all mistaken me for a drowning person in need of help, haha.' Then another swimmer swam with me to see how I was doing. She gave me some technique advice and once I tried it, it felt like I was going faster/easier. Man, why couldn't she have been with me at the first buoy instead of the final one. She introduced herself to me after the race as Nancy. She's a swim coach and SF TNT coach and was swimming with the newbies this morning. She's awesome, like my angel mermaid.

Anyways, I started hearing the bullhorn (Coach Ted) and crowd from shore, something like 'Go, Roman, Go, Roman' (it's hard to hear, I have earplugs, plus the swim cap and water.) That's way cool but now I'm thinking, I must REALLY be the LAST one out if they can keep cheering for just ONE person for so long. You know, it wasn't Go Roman, Go Jill, Go Jack, Go Dexter, Go Team ('Team' in Training and all). It was Go, Roman, Go, Roman. And I know there's not several different people named Roman still swimming. And how did they know it was me? My ubiquitous green swim cap?

Being last out of the water in your first tri with only 10 people is one thing (Lake Berryessa), but in a race with 100 people? Isn't there at least one, just ONE more person slower than me out here. I didn't think I was THAT slow (no offense to that one more person out there.) And now that everyone is cheering me on I feel 'obligated' to swim as fast as I can to shore. But people, I'm already swimming as fast as I can, I don't need any extra pressure, haha. Closer...closer...people getting larger...solid ground! Big smile. 52 minutes by my watch (Timex Ironman of course). People are whooping it up like crazy, like I was the first one out. Hey, that lady looks like mom. It is mom! And dad! What are you guys doing here? I do a really quick glance at the water and it's smooth and tranquil, not one more colored swim cap, the red buoys are gone, and all the kayaks are grounded. Rats. Last. Oh well, make up the time on the bike. But yeah baby, I just swam a mile in open water, last or not, something I never thought I would or could do. Time to go ride.

Even though I was last out, I was excited because I had a great day mentally and psychologically. I wasn't dreading the swim, I was actually very relaxed walking to the beach pre-race, chatting with my teammates. I had zero panic attack moments and minimal, if any, extraneous, negative mental chatter. And I only stopped to rest once for about 20 seconds. My pace going out was too fast with all the excitement, and people bumping into you, so I just took a few extra breaths to get my heart rate and breathing back down, no biggie. I even passed a person hanging on to a kayak for dear life. Now that was something I didn't needed to see in the middle of my swim. So I tried to ignore it and kept swimming. I wasn't really tired, I just swim slow (for now :)

I would learn after the race that many swimmers didn't finish all four laps so that's one of reasons I was last out. (Or maybe because I'm slow, hehe.) I'm not worried about my speed, I know I'll get faster as the season goes on. It doesn't matter if I'm last at all my other triathlons, as long as I'm fast enough to make the 2 hour swim cut off time at Ironman (2.4 mile swim). Even with my slow time, I think the cut off is within reach.

and we're off...

RACE REPORT to be continued...

2008-01-24T07:17:00.000-08:00

JOURNEY

One of my favorite quotes that I take with me everywhere, "Life is a Journey, Not a Destination'.

:)

2007-12-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

GO SPEED RACER GO

I recently attended Audi's 'Driving Experience' test drive program at the Infineon Raceway in Sonoma. First did some classroom time (learned what under/oversteer is, the Quattro system, car physics and how weight change affects handling. And finally basic driving principles-look where you want to go, not where you don't want to, your hands follow your eyes; slow into turns/apex/accelerate out; patience; scan the road, no tunnel vision, etc.)

We then went out to the parking lot and learned how to position ourselves correctly in the driver's seat. Your body should basically be in the 'ready' position like in sports, relaxed and ready to react, not straight and rigid or lazy. We even learned the the correct way to hold and turn the steering wheel. They teach the 9 and 3 o'clock hand positions. Better control. And the 'dead pedal' is there to brace your body against the seat during hard turns. I never knew that. I drive like that now-9 and 3 o'clock, dead pedal. For safety and control reasons. No more one hand, lean back, cruising position. Now always ready. I feel more in control and in tune with the car.

Back to driving school...Now time for some emergency braking and handling drills in the parking lot with cones. Lots of flying cones and screeching tires, fun. A6, A3, A4, A8L and Q7. Had the R8s at the track (sweet) but we didn't drive those. That thing is fast. Still my new dream car.

Then we got to drive this little red baby, 2008 Audi S5, not even on the market yet. 4.2 Quattro 354 HP 6-speed V-8, stick. Push button start, rev the engine, yes!

Two laps around the course. Don't know my top speed since I had to follow and keep up with the pace car. The instructor guides you through the course over walkie-talkie, talking you through the turns. When I did peek at the speedometer it was inching toward 100 mph. Still only in 3rd gear, sheez. Nice to abuse a car that's not my own, stomping the gas on straightaways, hearing the engine whine, shoved into your seat, tight turns at speed, tires squeeling.

I was a little lightheaded afterward. Maybe because of the the adrenalin/stress/excitement. Maybe I forgot to breathe during laps, haha.

I had so much fun and learned a lot. I'm a better 'civilian' driver now. I'll definitely do it again. Maybe next time in the R8. Zoom...

2007-11-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

BEAUTIFUL

What a great day to be alive!

I did an early morning 4-mile run today by the water (Benicia State Park), clear sunny day, cool crisp air. Scenery was stunning. I wanted a setting where I could think, be thankful, and enjoy the outdoors all the while listening to Alicia Keys' new album on my iPod, she's one of my absolute favorite artists. Her songs move me as always. Smile on my face the whole time.

A perfect start to a perfect day.

2007-11-01T06:02:00.000-07:00

RACING FOR A CURE

Click on picture to enlarge

2007-10-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

IRONMAN!

click on:

www.active.com/donate/tntgsf/romanseguerre

2007-10-06T09:31:00.000-07:00

COMING SOON...

2007-10-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

ALOHA FROM HAWAII...

2007-09-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

Our lives are defined by a few significant experiences - a few days or hours or moments out of a lifetime of years and decades. These are the moments that make the day-to-day routine worthwhile. They are what we live for and why we endure the mundane. The things we remember.

Keep Smiling...

-R

2007-04-04T00:08:00.000-07:00

SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Be right back...

-R

2007-01-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

EMERGENT

For my peeps, suggesting, no, requesting, no, insisting on an update, here it is, albeit partial. And for those getting tired of looking at SFO, some eye candy of the new iPhone I just got from Steve.

Some sugar for you as we start (started) this new year:

I sense it coming but cannot avoid it.
My boat strikes something.
At first sounds of silence, waves.
Nothing has happenned;
Or perhaps everything has happened
And I am sitting in my new life.

-Rumi

A Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2007!

I have a bunch of unfinished drafts, some that I'm hesitant to post in its current state. Maybe I'll just post the raw, stream of consciouness, unedited version and let it be. Blogging for public view and consumption often results in neurotic reluctance on my part. Ehh, it is what it is. I'm ready to get back in the saddle (Yipee Kayay blank-blank. Name that movie?)

Soooo...more thoughts and update soon.

No really.

I'm serious.

For reals.

:)

-R

2006-09-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

(aerial view of SFO)

EARTH WIND & FIRE DAY TODAY...

I'm off to Hawaii with the team tomorrow AM. Good ol' SFO and Hawaiian Airlines. I love airports. Maybe because of the freedom and adventure it represents. Or because of the love you feel and see when loved ones are reunited there. Seeing that always brings a smile to my face.

I wrote a 'travel' love letter to my girl today. Just in case anything happens, so she'll always know. I know she does, I say it to her every night. I'll miss her so much when I'm away, but I know time will fly and I'll see her soon. I'll slip it into her Hello Kitty backpack. And I'll get a nice surprise for her later. I think she wants a videogame for her Nintendo DS. She knows how to milk it with Daddy.

Love and Aloha, lots more to come...

2006-08-16T00:21:00.000-07:00

2006-07-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

TRAINING LOG

Location: Healdsburg, Geyserville

Distance: 55 miles

Song: Life is a Highway (Soundtrack from Cars), by Rascall Flats. Gilly sings this and sounds like a country singer, I love it.

Thoughts: Quaint, charming little town with full of stores and restaurants and art galleries. This is probably my second favorite ride. Lots of rolling hills, and beautiful wine country scenery. After a four-mile climb up Pine Flat Road (which definitely ain't), it overlooks the valley filled with endless rows of vineyards. I didn't realize there were so many varied, independent wineries. Everyone's always wanting to stop to 'sample' the wares.

Hot one today, 95 degrees of dry heat, over 100 on the asphalt, like a giant blowdryer shadowing you all day. A few on the team had symptoms of dehyrdation and heat exhaustion. I drank about 5 water bottles of gatorade over the almost four hours that we were on the road and didn't even need to use the bathroom which means I was sweating it all out.

Even so, the last 10 miles of the ride had less to do with strength, but more about will and heart. Just brutal conditions. When you're hot and fatigued you need to dig down and ask yourself what your 'why' is, why are you training, why are you out there. You then begin to focus on that 'why' while the miles beginning to slowly disappear and you find a reservoir of strength that you didn't know you had.

For many, the face of a loved one comes to mind, or their memory. For others it's the commitment to the Cause, or a new vow to be healthy, or a promise to yourself to finish an unheard of challenge, or even laying on a beach in Hawaii, drinking out of a coconut after the Century Ride.

One of my 'whys' is on my handlebar, a pink Barbie bandaid that my daughter gave me after I crashed on a ride. I look and touch that touchstone many times on many different rides. I guess we all have 'whys' in our lives, someone or something that keeps us going, keeps us living strong, keeps us hopeful and joyful, that make our lives memorable, worth living, worth the struggle. With it, we tap deep emotional reserves that propel us forward.

What's your 'why' in life?

And the reward for me on this particular ride was an ice cold beer, waiting all those hours, hiding in an Igloo cooler, nestled comfortably on a bed of ice. It's the simple things in life, yes?

Godspeed,

-R

----- o
---<# \,
--( ) / ( )

2006-07-08T00:05:00.000-07:00

ENJOY LIFE

Today is my 3 Year Remission Anniversary (boisterous spontaneous applause ensues!), the day I found out the doctors couldn't find any traces of cancer (leukemia) in my body.

Celebrate with me: Hug your keikis (children) extra tight. Stop and smell a beautiful flower. Lose yourself in your favorite music. Have a (Mojito, Pellegrino, Corona, Frangelico, insert favorite drink here) with friends. Laugh to the point of tears. Kiss the ones you love. Hike through nature. Feel the sun on your face. Put another shrimp on the barby. Have an extra scoop of ice cream. Wander through a museum. Read from your favorite book. Live from your heart. Breathe the fresh air. Walk along the beach. Ride a rollercoaster. Paint to your heart's content. Watch the sun set.

Do whatever makes your heart jump...

It's one thing to survive. It's another to live.

En-joy,

-R

2006-07-07T22:44:00.000-07:00

CONNECTION (Mind/Body)

I felt lousy today, splitting nauseatic (my word) headache. Most of the time, I actually forget that I'm living with cancer and feel great, amazing. But no matter how well I'm feeling, I almost always get sick at some point when I'm expecting my test results back. Happily, my oncologist called and let me now that my results were normal, everything's fine (exhale.) Next round in October.

She also gave me the go ahead to train for multiple races this year, said my lungs are functioning normally and the side-effects of my treatment are neglible, so it shouldn’t affect my stamina and fatigue. "Absolutely go for it, yes train!" she said.

My cycle training is going great, but I had to cut back on my marathon training, my left hip is bothering me (again :). My chiro said my pelvic bone is rubbing up against a nerve cluster in my hip (yikes!) which makes my back and leg uncomfortable (painful) when I run. I’m feeling a lot better after a series of adjustments (my chiro is amazing), we’ll see how my training goes. It doesn’t bother me on the bike, only when I run, because of the compression and impact.

After I got the good test results back, that 'I'm not myself' feeling is gone just as quickly. I'm always monitoring how I'm feeling, my energy level, my emotional level, my stress level. They’re the indicators of my overall health. Of course I know my body quite well, when it’s out of sorts, but I’m still amazed how it knows and responds to what's going on inside. Sometimes it just 'aches.'

2006-07-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

FIREWORKS

The burst of colors, fire, heat, sparkle. The luminous colors, loud core-shaking bangs.

Happy 4th!

-R

(pic: view from our hotel, fired from the mountainside shown in previous post.)

2006-07-03T23:19:00.000-07:00

TRAINING LOG

Location: Squaw Valley, Lake Tahoe

Distance: 38 miles, hard tempo ride

Song: Shalamar, Switch

Thoughts: Beautiful ride along the Truckee River, though it was like Frogger at times with all the people on the bike trail. Nice loop from Tahoe City up to Truckee. It was wide open with other cyclists out for a spin. I went out too fast instead of easing into the ride. Me and another cyclist were stopped at stoplight together, nodded and when the light turned green, we both non-chalantly started racing each other, matching speed. That was fun. But when I caught a stiff headwind coming back at the end of the ride I paid for it, inhaling Cliff Shot Blocks and Gu for some much needed energy, legs and lungs protesting.

I actually started thinking, "I'm on vacation, why am I doing this again?" Because I like it, because I can. A bad ride is just part of the deal, everyone has one of those days. What's the saying, "A bad day riding out in God's country is better than a good day stuck in an office." (Okay, I made that up.) But being out on the road in beautiful country was more than worth the effort (see pics). And the pool and spa was waiting for me after the ride.

-R

----- o
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--( ) / ( )

2006-07-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

YELLOW

Did you see George Hincapie sprint for those extra time bonuses knowing those extra precious seconds may put him in the yellow jersey, only the fourth American to wear yellow in the history of the Tour. He just missed wearing it a day earlier by just seven-tenths of a second. One cool cat.

2006-06-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

SCANDAL!

On the verge of the Tour de France, several of the pre-race favorites have been suspended for suspected drug use. Wow. It's like a Lakers-Celtics Championship (back in the day) without Magic, Kareem and Bird.

This still will be one to watch, with Lance retired after 7 straight yellow jerseys, and now the suspensions, the race is wiiide open. I'll be rooting for Americans George Hincapie (Lance's buddy) and Floyd Landis for the overall. (sidenote: even with Lance retired, I still see so many people wearing their yellow LiveStrong wristbands. It's not a fad for them, or me.)

Imagine, three weeks of racing covering over 2261 miles throughout France and Europe, with only two rest days. I'll be glued to my set. I love the suffering, the drama, the courage, the savvy tactics and race strategies, the mosh-pit sprints, the delirious climbs, the obssesive fans. Yes!

I read these two sites for all the stage previews, recaps and general info on the race: www.olntv.com/tdf and www.coachcarl.com.

Gotta go ride...

2006-06-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

MAN IN TIGHTS

Went to the opening night showing of Superman Returns last night. I went by myself since everyone else had other things like sleep in mind. I don't think I've done a midnight showing since one of the latest Star Wars. The best part of opening night is the energy from the crowd, usually full of fellow-geeks. I felt left out that I didn't have a Superman t-shirt, hat or pajamas to wear. Actually, I was wearing my uniform under my suit...oh never mind. But, you know the feeling, 500 hundred of your newest friends who go into near hysteria when the lights dim and the opening credits start rolling. Love that.

The movie: I really enjoyed it. Lots of the same beats from Donner's Superman (with Christopher Reeve). It was actually more of a love story than a summer action popcorn flick, but that's fine with me. (I think "Pirates" will fit that bill.) Singer and cast came through with a modern re-telling of the 1978 classic. Go see it, you'll love the end.

2006-06-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

PRODIGY

Saw Jake Shimabukuro at Yoshi's Jazz house last night. I just love the vibe of this club, I would see practically anyone there as an excuse to take in the music and the energy. And pretty much everybody who's anybody has played there, all the heavies. If you're in the Bay Area and never've been, then go, and tell them Roman sent you. They'll say, 'who?' After I saw my first show there, I actually went home and researched the architect and designer so when I'm ready, they can design my home theatre or new restaurant, or both.

Did I mention that Jake is from Hawaii and plays the ukelele? Not the 'Tiny Bubbles' variety of course, more like Hendrix, Paganini, Chick Corea, Bach, Bela Fleck. During Jake's energetic and passionate two-hour solo set I found myself mesmerized, holding my breath, and on the edge of my seat by both the musician and the music. During the encore Beatles cover, "Here, There and Everywhere" I was actually on the verge of tears, I was so overwhelmed by the song's beauty. True art, no matter what the form, has the ability to do that.

2006-06-26T17:30:00.000-07:00

MEGA-PHILANTHROPHY

Wowza. Warren Buffet, the world's second richest man, has taken his philanthropy to an other-wordly level, earmarking over $30 Billion dollars or 85% of his wealth, to the charity of the world's richest man, Bill Gates and his wife Melinda. Gotta love that.

In a fascinating "Billionaire Buddies" Fortune magazine interview with the both of them, there were a couple of things that Warren Buffet said that really stood out and have stuck with me.

1. CHOOSE the things that really make a difference, not meaningless activities. My take: You'd think that a mulit-billionaire would have places to go, people to see, things to do. But Buffet's calendar is mostly blank. He's learned how to say yes to the important things, and no to the meaningless things. Clear your calendar. Lance Armstrong says your schedule is how you make your intentions manifest in the world. I say it this way: It's YOUR life. Do what energizes you. Avoid what drains you. No guilt trips, no regrets. Don't just 'jump' when something comes up. If I feel I 'have to' or 'got to' do something, I'll usually decline. I'd rather 'want to', 'get to', or 'choose to' do something. Big difference.

2. Your INNER scoreboard is more important than your outer scoreboard. My take: don't care what others think about you or what you do. Of course don't be unkind or irresponsible, but live life your way, make decisions based on your values. Honor your own preferences, be true to yourself. It takes too much energy to do otherwise. Besides, you can't control what other people think anyway. Just be yourself, at your best, unapologetically.

3. A SUCCESFUL life is defined by the people that you hope love you, DO love you. My take: at the end of one's life, that's what life's all about, isn't it? Not the 'stuff' you've accumulated, but the relationships and experiences you've shared, the person you've become, the people whose lives you've touched.

Thanks for the sage advice Warren, we seem to think alike. Well, at least those things in common. Now let me get back to working on that billionaire thing... :)

- R

An excerpt of the interview (Fortune, Oct. 17, 2005):

FORTUNE: What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given, and how has it impacted your personal or professional life?
BUFFETT: (Turns to Gates.) What did I tell you that impressed you the most? (Laughter.)
GATES: Actually, I can answer that. When I first met Warren, we were talking about getting together and doing something again, and he pulled out his calendar and the pages were so blank. I said, 'Wow, you've managed to avoid getting tied in to a lot of kind of meaningless activities.' And Warren said, 'Yeah, you have to be good at saying no and picking the things that really make a difference.' And that's one of many things I've learned from Warren, and so I can blame it on him whenever I'm turning things down.
BUFFETT: The truth is I don't get invited anyplace. (Laughter.) I got an awful lot of good advice from my dad, and he didn't lay it on me, meaning I picked it up from him but there was never any of this 'do this, do that' type of thing at all. But he really taught me that what's on your inner scorecard is more important than your outer scorecard. Some people get in a position where they're worrying all the time about what the world is going to think of this or that, instead of considering what they themselves think about it. The people who ascribe too much to the outer scorecard sometimes find that it's a little hollow when they get all through.

FORTUNE: What has been your largest non-business success in life?
BUFFETT: This will surprise you, but I would say that I've never known anybody who got to be my age who had lots of people that loved them who were anything other than a success. I mean, you have lived a successful life if as you get older, the people that you hope love you do love you. That includes your family, your business associates, all kinds of people.
And the converse of that is that I know people who are enormously wealthy--they get schools named after them and they get dinners in their honor, all that sort of thing—and the truth is that nobody thinks a thing of them. And I have to believe they know that, and everything gets quite hollow in their life at that point.

2006-06-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

(pic: with some of the team, all cancer survivors, post-ride potluck, Pellegrino in hand :)

TRAINING LOG

Event: Honolulu Century, Team In Training
Ride location: Sonoma, Kenwood, Glen Ellen
Distance: 35 miles
Song: One of my coaches told me to always have a song in your head when you ride. Today it was "Love is the Answer", England Dan & John Ford Coley. Corny perhaps but never fails to put a smile in my heart.

Thoughts: Worked on communication, hand signals and pacelining with the team. Also gear selection and climbing and descending techniques. Climbed Sonoma Mountain Road, my first time tackling this short steep bear of climb, gets you sucking air, legs throbbing, your heart pounding in your ears. Of course the best part of climbing is bombing downhill. Got to paceline with the fast group on the team, pushing myself just beyond my comfort zone, legs burning, grinning the whole time, glad to be on the bike, one of my favorite things to do. I think it has to do with the freedom and fun of cruising the neighborhood on ten speeds as kids, the joy of movement, pushing my limits, and the 'need for speed." I paid for it in the afternoon, I was exhausted, probably a little dehydrated as well, the effort along with the heat.

I saw this line somewhere, I've adopted it as my own, a 'delicious thought': "Biking is my hot fudge sundae."

Yeah baby.

I had a chance to thank all the teams (triathlon, cycle and marathon) at the post-training potluck. It's always an honor to say thank you to the people who are raising money to help fund the research that helps keep me alive.

Most of them are endurance event first-timers: selfless, expanding their limits, relishing the challenge, doubting their doubts. I told them it's not the time, it's the distance; it's not the size of their muscles, but the will in their heart. Team In Training is all about ordinary people doing extraordinary things for extraordinary people who would give anything to be ordinary again. Speaking of, current blood test results come back on July 7, one day before my 3-year remission anniversary.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, waiting to exhale.

-R

----- o
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--( ) / ( )

2006-06-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

RELIEF

High 90s today.

Remedy: Jamba Juice-Matcha Green Tea Mist.

Doesn't that sound perfect?

Enjoy!

2006-06-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

BRING IT

Props to the Miami Heat for winning their first NBA Championship:

-Riles adds another ring.
-Zo and GP get their first.
-Shaq gets one without Mamba.
-Flash gets his first ring and MVP.

NBA fans are lucky. Doc. Magic and Bird. MJ. And now we get to see Dwayne Wade and LeBron battle it out for years to come.

2006-06-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

LEGACY

Grandma passed away yesterday. I asked that this be read at the funeral service in tribute:

Grandma was the last of my grandparents. I think about the living link to past generations that's now gone, yet continues on in us.

The time I spent with her was precious, just being in her presence during her last days, made even more so with her great-grandaughter on my lap, the next generation. Even in her weakened state, a caring look and smile connected the two. Those were holy moments to me, holding her fragile hands, seeing decades of life and love and experiences and joys in every wrinkle on her hands and beautiful face.

Those hands loved to work her garden. They wrote me Happy Birthday cards every year up to my 18th birthday with a crisp $5 bill inside. Those hands cradled my dad long ago and I'm sure pinched and pulled his ears when he was a rascal, just like mine were.

She was a radiant, spirited and strong woman who lived a long, full life. I hope my life will be worthy of her memory.

We'll miss you Grandma.

2006-06-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

FATHER'S DAY

Small hands shaking me, waking me up. Big bright eyes and laughter. Kisses and hugs. Proud of handmade card. Open my amazing gift, thankfully a gadget, not a tie. Breakfast feast.

Father/Daughter date. Sunday Matinee Movie. Her choice. Her on my lap. Sharing popcorn and M&Ms.

Enjoying the moments. Best Father's Day ever.

There is no one left to walk with now
No small, warm hand within my own
And woods are less enchanting
When explored alone.

- Ruth Bell Graham

(pic: Hilo, Hawaii May 2006)

2006-06-18T03:21:00.000-07:00

ON THE ROAD

2006-06-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

MY CALENDAR

Here's my race and travel schedule so far this year. We're well into the race season so I'm ramping up my training after a rather dormant and uneventful winter and rainy spring.

June 14-17: Peak Potentials Training Seminar, Pasadena, CA
T. Harv Eker's training, best selling author of "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind." It's the fastest growing personal development company in North America. I saw a keynote of his, and it was amazing.

June 26: Jake Shimabukuro Concert, Yoshi's Jazz House, Oakland, CA
Young ukelele genius, yes, ukelele. Didn't catch him the last time he came to the Bay Area so I'm catching his late show. And I absolutely love this club (www.yoshis.com). Check him out here, jaw-dropping:

video link

July 1-4: Lake Tahoe
Going back to Squaw Valley like last year. I love Tahoe. Plan to read, bike, hike a lot. And the fireworks are loud.

August 5: Marin Metric Century Ride, Marin, CA
A training race for Honolulu, it's 100 KM which is about 62 miles. I'll be riding with some of my friends, their first event. Lots of fun, beautiful ride hitting favorite spots in the Bay Area.

September 17: Disneyland Half-Marathon, Anaheim, CA
I told my sister that I'd train and do this race with her, both first times for us. I'm proud of my sis for stepping up her health and fitness regimen. I told her that running 13.2 miles is no small feat. Plus I want the big, fat bling-bling medals that Disney Marathons are known for. It's all about the 'hardware' (racespeak for race medals.) I'm going to totally chill on this race, I don't want to blow up my legs because my century ride is the following Sunday and I'm supposed to be tapering for Honolulu. Hoo-boy, this is going to be fun and so worth it.

September 23-30: Honolulu Century Ride, Hawaii
The Honolulu Century is the big race this year, the first time I've done this event and Jean's first century ever. I'm doing this with Team In Training as a partipant and honoree to raise money for cancer research. It's a beautiful course starting in Waikiki, around Diamond Head, pass Kaneohe Bay and back. And hello...it's Hawaii. The ride's on the 24th but we'll be extending our stay because, hello...it's Hawaii. www.hbl.org/events_general.html

October 8: San Jose Rock N Roll Half-Marathon, San Jose, CA
I told my brother I'd do this with him, his first as well. Maybe I can ride my bike instead of running it. I need a massage just thinking about it. This is the inaugural race in SJ. I was at the the San Diego RNR Marathon last year, bands every mile, they're a blast. This will be too. www.rnrsj.com/Home.html

November 16-18: XanGo Convention, Salt Lake City, UT

(pic: my ASICS GT 2100s)

2006-06-10T21:48:00.000-07:00

YEARS

Tomorrow my cousin Kenny is stepping down from his Associate Pastor post after 10 years. Props to him. That's a long time.

It made me think of these past years and a picture that a friend of ours dug up from the archives, our missionary youth group that toured Asia in 1987. Next year we plan to bring everyone back for a 20 year reunion. With the probable objection of some in the photo (it's a free country, right?), I'm posting it and a copy of my email I sent the team.

For those in the know, see if you can identify everyone (freebie: Beverly is missing.) I'll leave out the names to protect the innocent. Another freebie: I'm the good looking guy in the back but with hair :) And Kenny's in the picture too.

Here's my email, October 2005:

I'm still sooo tripping about this pic. Shook me up a little, out of the unforgiving inertia of my 'daily routine.'

18(!) years ago. Think about that for a moment. From birth to High School graduation, a lifetime in itself.

As I scan our faces in the photo, I think of what's happened in our lives since then-the good, the bad, the indifferent; mistakes and accomplishments-the joyful, painful, regretful, memorable, sublime. Marriage, children, career and locale changes, personal gain and loss (and not just weight and hair, hehe).

What will the next 18 years, 'Lord willing' (sorry, ingrained Christianese superstition) have in store for us, our families? How will we live those years? Will there be regrets of things undone, experiences unexplored, challenges unfaced, dreams unnurtured, love unexpressed. Remember, no regrets. 'I'll do it later,' or 'one day,' doesn't exist. Do it now. How we spend our days are how we spend our lives.

My latest medical tests show that the cancer is still under control, another day of life, so thankful. I often tell others not to let something as extreme and traumatic as a life-threatening illness finally cause you to live the life you've always wanted, the life of your dreams. Do what you love, with the people you love. Life is so short, so precious even in the difficult, numbing times.

Here's a pic of Gilly and I from our family reunion at Disneyland last week. 18 years from now, Lord willing :), this will be a picture of us at Gillian's graduation from Stanford. Heavy rap.

Just my .02. Thanks for the ramble, you all already know I'm philosophically wired.

Life is good. Love you all. Godspeed.

Roman

2006-06-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

CLOSE SHAVE

Just got in from Gilly's class which had a pre-Father's Day surprise. The kids gave all the dads their cards, a bag of goodies and lunch amid golf and basketball videos and model cars and trucks. The highlight was that all the kids gave the dads a 'shave' with shaving creme and popsicle sticks. They had actually practiced this earlier on the older students who were their guinea pigs.

Of course all of that was worth a big hug and kiss and the words "I love you Daddy, Happy Father's Day!"

(pic: G at her barber chair. 'Are you ready for your shave?')

2006-05-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

The DVD just came out. I just watched the entire movie with G, cool, fun flick. You'll like it...really. The next generation's 'Sound of Music', "West Side Story,' Saturday Night Fever,' 'Grease,' '8 Mile' (just kidding.)

She loves this movie, knows all the words, all the actor's names. We sing and dance to the songs. Try it, it's fun..."we're soaring, flying..."

The downside is you can't get the songs out of your head.

Enjoy.

2006-05-23T11:15:00.000-07:00

ALOHA

Heading back to the mainland. I'm at the airport in Hilo, our flight's delayed two hours. (At least there's wifi.) Ironically, it's a sunny, gorgeous day today, the majority of my trip it was cloudy or raining.

I will miss the energy here, the fragrant fresh air that awakens my senses. I go home rested and renewed, already wanting to come back soon, to explore the other islands.

I came here to say goodbye to my Grandma who's in the hospital (she's 91). She wasn't expected to make it past the weekend but now she's actually taking a slight turn for the better. As I kissed her goodbye I whispered "I love you Grandma.' With a gentle yet weakened smile, she was able to whisper back, "I love you too." Even though the doctors had given her a short time to live, I think we underestimate the power of love.

Love will keep you going, keep you holding on, even keep you alive.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I gave her a kiss for all of you too.

(pic: painting from local gallery)

2006-05-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

AUDIO ALOHA

2006-05-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

MAC STORE NY OPENING

Good ol' SJ and those Apple Geniuses (Geniui?) at it again.

link

2006-05-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

ISLAND SPIRITUALITY

Yesterday went to church, New Hope Christian Fellowship Hilo, a large congregation situated on a beautiful new campus. I sat in the back but for some reason I was on the edge of tears the whole time, not necessarily because of things that were said, but just being in Hawaii at a place of worship, silent prayers and questions to God, seeing the beauty and grace upon those around me, ordinary people like me, following the yearning for something more, something deeper. I couldn't escape that feeling in my heart, a mix of brokeness and joy, gratitude and awe.

One thing the preacher did say was to honor the Creator. Beautiful creation points to the Creator. Appropriate being in Hawaii, surrounded by its breathtaking beauty.

2006-05-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

HILO LIFE

Here are some pics at the local diner we've been frequenting, Blanes Drive Inn (courtesy of budding photographer Gillian Seguerre). It's across the street from Hilo High School where both of my parents went to school and grew up in. My dad said this is the same location of the diner where my parents dated in High School 45 years ago. Yes, forty-five. Wow. Of course they reminisce a lot about those teenage years, "The Wonder Years." Listening to their stories over a plate lunch, I was struck by the fact that I was back here with them these many years later. However you look at it, that's waaay cool.

And speaking of Blane's. Instead of the requiste pictures of palm trees and beaches, here's a little montage of one of my favorite things to do when I'm in Hawaii...eat da local broke da mouth grinds (sorry, it means 'good food." A new phrase I heard is "If can, can. If no can, no can. " Say it, it will make you smile. It means "if you can do it, fine. If not, no biggie.")

(plate lunch!)

(super loco moco)

(Lau Lau plate)

(lomi, poke)

(yumm)

(fast food)

(slush float)

This didn't even include the fresh mango, fried saimin, spam musubi, saloon pilot crackers, freshly made mochi, one-ton chips and more.

Some more pics:

(the keikis)

(a local business)

(from our hotel balcony)

(farmers market)

(The Princess and the King)

2006-05-19T12:48:00.000-07:00

Hey Beautiful People,

Checking in from beautiful, rainy Hilo, Hawaii (on the Big Island) at the Kope Kope Cafe (free WiFi), Jack Johnson playing over the cafe sound system. I'm here for a personal (as in close to my heart vs. private) family matter which I'll blog about a little later, but I just needed to be here now, right away.

Lots of fun things I look forward to doing and seeing while I'm here. I know I'll find new found energy from being on the islands and gathering with family.

I've attached a few pictures courtesy of my brother Noel and my daughter Gillian who got to make the trip with me. She's like her Daddy-she loves planes, travel, hotels and getting out. On the plane before take-off, sprinkled in among her many restless questions and observations, she blurted out excitedly, "this is sooo coool! I can't wait to go to Hawai-Hee! Can we go to the beach?"

Gotta run....lots more later.

Aloha,

Roman

2006-05-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

(pic: view from my room)

VIVA LAS VEGAS

Niice, free WiFi at the McCarran Airport. I'm blogging from the terminal, waiting for my flight back home. I just smiled at another passenger who's also working on her Mac. You know the 'fellow Mac-user look.'

Here's some pics from the trip. One of the best parts of the trip was meeting so many interesting, kind people: a veterinarian and his family from Toronto, a pilot from LA, a scientist from LV, a property developer from Phoenix. I even met a realtor from Benicia (where I live). Small town, small world.

During my seminar, the keynote speaker was without a doubt, one of the most amazing, articulate, humorous speakers I've ever heard, which is high praise coming from me. I've heard many, and since I've done a lot of public speaking, I'm wired to critique a speaker. His name is Jamie Clarke, an adventurer, author who was one of the first Canadians to summit Mt. Everest, a herculean feat. He talked about courage and fear, life and passion. It sparked something inside me, the quest for adventure, for exploration, curiosity, testing my limits, overcoming my fears, and living to the fullest. Check out his site, especially his book, "Above All Else", which his talk was based on.

link

(pics: Wheel of Fortune slots at The Venetian; 'Roman' statues at Caesar's (j/k, they're Greek..); The Venetian Bridge; The Bellagio Lake)

2006-05-12T17:58:00.000-07:00

LV Early Arrival: 8:09 A.M.

2006-05-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

I leave for Vegas in about 5 hours. Can't sleep. Reading through this article in the Chronicle about living above Santana Row. Interesting if somewhat (actually, extremely) jaded and cynical perspective.

But check out this slammin' outdoor mall. Here's a video tour. Looks like a hot spot.

It reminded me how much I miss living in downtown Benicia by the water (we moved up more in the Benicia hills). They're building new townhomes above soon-to-be new storefronts (and rumored Starbucks), overlooking the main street with a view of the water and the bridge. I even asked my realtor to check them out for me.

I loved being downtown where the action is: Thursday night Farmer's Market; early AM runs at the Marina; walk to the Waterfront Pier for a beautiful view of the bridge and water, or fishing, throwing rocks and feeding the ducks; walk to my gym; bike to the State Park; all the eats: Sandoval's (Mexican), Chinese, Double-Rainbow Cafe (Ice Cream), Kinder's Deli, First Street Cafe for Breakfast, Thai, Sushi, Seafood; Gazebo Park; Benicia Library; 4th of July firework displays; numerous parades, shows, concerts, events. And all right outside my door within walking distance.

Maybe it is time to move back, no matter what the Chronicle Columnist says.

(pics: Santana Row; Benicia Marina)

2006-05-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

PAY AT THE PUMP

Filling up my SUV at Costco where gas is 'only' $3.17, I saw one of these at the pump next to me, a Fleetwood Southwind. With these current gas prices, of course I had to know how much it cost to fill one of those bad boys up. I went over to talk to the owner, commented on his rig, 'she's a beauty,' and other small talk then asked what the damage was. $300 to fill 'er up. Yikes. That's about a 94 gallon tank. Forgot to ask him the range he gets.

They were heading out of town, probably get as far as filling up at the next Costco Gas :) I asked if he wouldn't mind if I peeked inside, which he and his wife happily obliged. Niiice. Huge, comfy, all the amneties. 6 figure ride. Worth it. Just added it to my wish/dream list. Home away from home. I like that.

2006-05-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

ART CONTINUED

More of my favs:

Van Gogh's "Irises":

Michelangelo's Pieta:

Robert Bechtle's "Agua Caliente Nova." Oil on canvas. Photorealism. Saw his amazing work at SFMOMA:

"The Battle of Anghiari", usually attributed to Da Vinci or one of his unknown students. One of my favorites, it's on my Mac's desktop:

2006-05-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

ART

To all the artists after my own heart - keep creating, bringing beauty into, and sharing your genius with the world.

Some quotes to share with you that have inspired me:

“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.” - Abraham Maslow

"Great art not only brings forth the ordered essence of human experience, but of the world we live in, this is what we call beauty. Art and love are man’s greatest gifts to himself; and there can be no art without love. Art is always the making of the soul, the craft of a human being’s touch…" - David Hawkins, "Power vs. Force"

“[One] viewer describes the unsettling physical dimension of the aesthetic flow experience, which resembles the shock a body feels when diving into a pool of cold water:

‘When I see works that come close to my heart…I have the strangest reaction, which is not always exhilarating, it is sort of like being hit in the stomach. It’s just this sort of completely overwhelming feeling, which then I have to grope my way out of, calm myself down, and try to approach it scientifically, not with all my antennae vulnerable, open . . . . What comes to you after looking at it calmly, after you’ve really digested every nuance and every little thread, is the total impact. When you encounter a very great work of art, you just know it and it thrills you in all your senses, not just visually, but sensually and intellectually.’ “ - Mihaly Scikszentmihalyi, "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience"

En-joy,

Roman

(pic: "Red Jazz" by Didier Lourenco; "La Victoire de Samothrace")

2006-05-07T21:30:00.000-07:00

ROAD TRIP

Heading to Vegas for business next weekend. Staying at the Rio. Can't wait.

2006-05-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

SUNDAY A.M. RAMBLE

Blogging from Panera Bread. Just opened in Concord. What a gorgeous, sunny day. This a great place to chill. This may become my new mobile office location along with Starbucks. Hot Tea. Smoothies. Free WiFi. Plenty of outlets. Lots of patio and indoor seating. Uh-oh, the secret’s out.

And try the Spinach & Artichoke Souffle and Chocolate Croissant. MmmMm.

I'm back. Stopped into REI next door. They’re having a big sale, tons of cool stuff, what a zoo. Picked up some new gear, but couldn’t decide on which new bag (looking for a new carry-on) but also picked up the new CamelBak water bottle to try out. Just came out. The checker raved about it, even had hers with her as she rang me up. Like a sipee cup for adults, hehe.

Hi. I’m Roman. And I’m a gear and gadget nut.

Out on the bike yesterday, nice easy jaunt with some of the boys, two of whom got brand new Specialized rigs, same as mine. Yes, more converts. Nice to ride after all that rain and get ready for the season. Lots of events to choose from this year.

Saw my friend Tom the other night. As in Cruise. Mission Impossible 3. Great popcorn flick. What the first two should have been. I don’t really keep up with all the gossip about him. I just like (most of) his movies, especially his latest ones, Samurai, Collateral, War of the Worlds. It’s become somewhat of a tradition of mine to see the latest Cruise movie on the big screen.

Looks like the rain ain’t coming back. Enjoy the sun!

2006-05-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

ROAD AND SKY TRIPPIN'

I took G out for a run on her new bike. She’s fast now, I can’t just jog next to her, I have to ruuuun. And she just loves her new pink (of course) Chuck Taylor Converse All Star High Tops (see pic). She spotted them in the shoe store window at the mall among countless others. Are all females genetically wired toward shoes and bags?

Anyways, we were down at the Benicia Marina and the city was hosting a car show downtown. We saw dozens of cool cars, mostly classics and hotrods but also saw this(!) parked on the street:

It’s a Roadtrek RS Adventurous Motorhome!

My Life To-Do List includes ‘Travel the Lower 48 States by RV.” For instance, I’ve actually never been to the Grand Canyon but have always wanted to go. They say pictures are one thing, but it’s a world of difference seeing it in person. There are so many outrageously beautiful and interesting places to visit throughout America. RV is one way to go: taking your time, visiting whatever places you want to go, at your own pace. There’s the freedom of traveling with everything you need, camping out, a home away from home. A must do. The RoadTrek is a place to start.

Or maybe one of these(!):

SUPERMAN

In the meantime, you can also dowload Google Earth and scout the places you want to travel to. The Google Geeks are geniuses. You enter and address or location and you ‘fly’ to that location anywhere on the map. So of course I spent considerable time ‘flying’ around the world to all my favorite places and yet to visit places: Grand Canyon, Hawaii, Paris, Rome, Tokyo, Great Wall of China, Fiji and of course places in Nor Cal. Very detailed images, you can zoom in and even see cars in your driveway. And get this, you can rotate the topography and see the images in 3-D.

Here’s the Grand Canyon:

Here’s the Marina where we ran:

Here’s the Google Campus:

Up, up, up and away...

2006-05-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

I OWE IT TO MY MOTHER!

Early Mother's Day thoughts I came across. Fuuunny!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

2006-04-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

TAKE A PICTURE, IT LASTS LONGER

Fun at the Apple Store....

...smooch.

2006-04-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

SKYLINES

Check out the Top 15 Skylines in the World.

Of course Hong Kong is my favorite. I lived/traveled in HK and China for about five months. One of my most vivid memories is crossing the harbor on the ferry at night, mesmerized by the massive reflections of the skyline lights on the water. Because of airport regulations, the lights can't be blinking, so there's a stillness amid the ancient/urban energy.

I can't wait to go back, the next time with my girl/s.

2006-04-20T17:23:00.000-07:00

THE DASH

Lots to think about today. My friend is celebrating his son's 5th birthday by wearing the polo shirt he wore when he was born. The shirt is clearly 'worn', a couple of holes, but his annual tradition is a touching one in celebrating one of the most significant days in his life. It was ironic, that as I shared that moment with my friend, I was preparing to attend the funeral of another friend's mother.

After the service, she told me that her mom's unending wish was for her five sons and daughters to end their 3-year feud (over money, no less, what else.) I was somewhat astonished to hear that once the children finally reconciled, just one week later, the mom passed away. It's amazing how people can literally hold on to life for something they love or desire, yet also see that once people have nothing to live for, they can literally stop living. It also boggles my mind that for three years the siblings denied their mother and the grandchildren the joys and memories of sharing life together because of bickering over money. Now, that their mom is gone, was it really worth it?

In one day I saw both poles of life, birth and death. On the photocopied funeral service bulletin, or on the headstone, just below the departed's name, they print the birth year and year of death. For instance, in my case it would read Roman Derek Seguerre, 1965 - ? (whoa, that's freaky just writing it.)

I've learned that the dates aren't most important, it's the dash in between that matters most.

2006-04-19T01:47:00.000-07:00

Wore shorts and sandals today! What a concept.

2006-04-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

HEALTH UPDATE

Exhale. My biopsy tests came back NORMAL, which means that there wasn't any traceble cancer cells observable in my blood. It means a clean bill of health! Much love to all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.

Questions people often ask me in regard to my health:

How am I feeling?
Feeling great, strong, energy still high. No debilitating side effects, just nausea at times in the evening after I pop my pills. Yech. You wouldn't know that I'm sick, as a matter of fact, I'm planning my next endurance event for the year.

How long do I have to take the medication? What happens if I stop?
At this point, indefinitely, or until a cure is found, max dosage 800 mg of Gleevec daily. It's not as bad as it sounds, I still am fortunate enough to have a high-quality of life, and extended years since my diagnosis (1/03).

So my meds are still effective, the cancer cells haven't mutated and built up a resistance to my treatment. I'm technically in remission, but there are likely still cancer cells in the blood, just not observable. Basically, the cancer would come back in full force if I stop taking my meds. There are some other drugs in the testing stage that seem to be even more effective than Gleevec. My oncologist says that I'm in a good place even if a worst case scenario comes up.

What is bone marrow biopsy? Does the biopsy hurt?
It's a process for extracting a sample of bone chip and marrow from the center of the hip bone (those two protrusions in the small of your back). The samples are sent to the lab for testing. I basically lie on my stomach and the doc uses a needle to 'extract' the specimen. They anesthesize the area but unfortunately you can't anesthesize the bone. So it does hurt a little, kind of like boring a searing-hot needle through my brain by way of my eyeball. No, it just hurts for a while. I'm fully awake but I have some sleepy drugs to take the edge off. I also have my ritual of always wearing my Adidas sweatpants and Crocs, and listening to my iPod (Vivaldi or Bocelli). Plus the nurses will hold my hand or rub my head, no really, they do, it's like their maternal instincts kick in when they see a full grown man crying in pain :) My owie is still tender for about 2-3 weeks afterward.

The best news is that there are new 'normal' blood tests (from your arm) that seem to be as effective as a biopsy. So my doc says this may be the last biopsy I'll ever need. The future routine tests will just be from my arm. Yahoo.

Sidenote: my favorite nurse Alicia wasn't there for my procedure. We're always yakking and making each other laugh. I called a couple weeks later and she said she was out the past few months going through chemo, breast cancer. Just got back on the job. Stay strong girl!

Living life one day at a time,

Roman

(pic: street luge. not me, but how life seems at times)

2006-04-18T06:57:00.000-07:00

"ROMAN'S STORY"

This just came out, part of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's 2006 nationwide marketing campaign. Pictures and interview were from the SF Nike Marathon Party last October (though they edited an earlier bio of mine to use for the text). There I met Nancy Klein, the Sr. VP of Marketing Communications out of NY who was so kind and gracious to Gilly and I. Love to TNT and LLS.

I think a print campaign is to follow. Pretty cool.

Click Here for the jump

2006-04-16T19:32:00.000-07:00

SNOW TRIP

Gilly's first trip to the snow. Another milestone and memory. Record snowfall. A friend's cabin there has snow packed above his 15 foot high deck. Can't see out of some of his second floor windows because of the snow pack blocking the view. Only the third floor has all the windows clear. Yikes.

Of course the snow and cold didn't faze G. She just wanted to keep on playing, throwing snowballs, building snow castles, making snow angels, catching snow flakes on her tongue. We might as well have been at the beach playing in the sand as far as she was concerned.

You know when Gilly goes off to college/Stanford in 13 years, it means I only have 13 more Winters to play in the snow with her as a child. Think about that for a moment. Just 13. Next year that number goes down to just 12. Then only 11.

And I only have 13 more Springs to fly a kite with her, throw rocks into the ocean, eat ice cream at the downtown cafe, ride our bikes in the park, hold hands dropping her off at school. I know that may sound weird, but I think that way most of the time. It keeps me focused on what's most important, where and how to use my most precious resources in life-my time and energy. You know-do what you love with the people you love. Life is short. Life is precious. No regrets. Live and love in real time. They grow so fast.

Maybe worn 'cliches.'

But not to me.

OON, Happy Spring Break. I hope everyone gets lots of sunshine and has a chance to get outside and breathe in life. Get re-energized and refreshed. And stay safe.

And Happy Easter. I overhead Gilly singing softly, "at the Cross, at the Cross, where I first saw the light, and the 'birds' of my heart rolled away." It's an old hymn I used to sing as a child. It's the first time I heard her sing it, she must have learned it at school. I listened quietly. She then asked me to sing the last part for her. A precious moment not soon forgotten.

He is Risen. He is Risen Indeed.

(pic: Soda Springs Snow Park outside of Tahoe)

2006-04-14T02:38:00.000-07:00

ISLAND PARADISE

One of the magazines I subscribe to has the "Private Island Business" as some of the coolest employment going. So I added 'Own an Island' on my Life "To Do" List. You know, for a quick little getaway. Maybe Fiji, Thailand, So. America, Carribean, Greece? Like Tom Hanks in Castaway, except with food, supplies, lucidness and a lifeline to the modern world. (I always wondered what was in that last Fed Ex package. Maybe a satellite phone?)

Check out this way cool site, where people really buy and rent their own private islands.

Of course the allure of an island is to get away, stranded in paradise, with time and space far from the stress and hurriedness of life. There's a great deal of romantic adventure involved. Lots of privacy, great views, sand, sun. I like the fact the as far out as it may seem, REALLY owning (or at least renting) my own private island is within the reach and scope of possibility within my lifetime. Anyone care to join me?

2006-04-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

HOME THEATER

Snapshots of movies I've watched recently, when I have some spare time, thank you Netflix:

MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA
I was really looking forward to this since I missed it at the theater. Of course I like most Japanese themed movies. Classic love story-girl loves guy, guy loves girl, guy can't have girl, girl can't have guy. Do they end up together? Watch the movie :) Wonderfully sumptuous visuals and cinematography, beautiful locales. I can see how it won Oscars for cinematography and costume design. Some of the recognizable scenes were shot at local Bay Area Japanese Gardens but you would swear you were in 1930's Japan. Ahh, the magic of movies.

KING KONG
Watched the big screen version in the summer with my brother. King Kong deserves the best actor Oscar, (half)-seriously. I thought I was watching a 'real' 30-foot giant gorilla. Peter Jackson is brilliant. The computer graphics work for Gollum (Lord of the Rings) was first-rate, King Kong is stellar. Another 'love story' but stay for the T-Rex fight and Empire State Building Battle. A great summer popcorn movie now at my fingertips. Yes. Haven't even gone through the special features yet, love the 'behind-the-scenes' and 'making of' stuff. I should have been a director.

ROLL BOUNCE
If you lived your teenage years in the late 70's (like me), WATCH this movie. Surprisingly sweet, hilarious and nostalgic flick on the passages of youth. Reminds me of all the times me and the boys would cruise our Vallejo neighborhood during the summer on our bikes (ten speeds, not Harleys :), exploring, goofing off, just being kids, not a care in the world. The old school music takes me back to an innocent, memorable time. Makes you want to groove and put on those funky rollerskates that you know you owned but won't admit, and take one last skate around the rink. Retro is in. Time to get out my old Member's Only jacket and Angel Flight suit.

(pic: hehe, I couldn't resist :)

In the queue: John Legend Live at the House of Blues, Chris Rock: Never Scared, 24: Season 4.

2006-04-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

CAPTURING MT. DIABLO

Great photo essay in the Contra Costa Times, a pictorial of Mt. Diablo in Danville. It's a hot spot for cyclists. In the times I've been there to ride, I never tire of the view from the top. It's a grueling, steady pace to the summit (some picnic-ers called me crazy and courageous) but the view of the emerald and caramel foothills and the sweeping valley below makes the effort easily forgotten. Breathtaking, a favorite spot for artists. On a clear day you can see the Golden Gate Bridge and the other mountain summits in Marin and the South Bay.

After I soak in the beautiful views and take a slow, deep breathe, I always love the next part, the fun part, my favorite part, what I always remember-the fast ride d-o-w-n.

Click Here to view photos

(pic: 'Western Slope, Mt. Diablo', by O. Quigley, Oil on linen)

2006-03-10T20:59:00.000-08:00

2006-03-09T13:31:00.000-08:00

2006-03-06T11:19:00.000-08:00

2006-02-18T10:04:00.000-08:00

HEY THERE!
(click 'Play')

2006-02-12T00:11:00.000-08:00

SATURDAY SUN

Well I’m glad I don’t live on the East Coast where headline news warn of a blizzard coming through along with flights being canceled, lightning and a foot of snow expected. If you’re anywhere near the San Francisco Bay Area, you were probably out today enjoying the beautiful Spring-like weather, so many amazing places to go and see. It was 70 degrees here, a nice respite, so of course got out today. I love the warmth of the sun on my face, looking out over the water, it always brings a smile to my face. I watched a lone kayaker in the distance, wanting to be out there as well.

2006-02-06T00:13:00.000-08:00

CITY LIGHTS & SUNRISE
I’m up late tonight, reading and journaling, looking out the window from the 30th floor of my hotel room in SF. It’s peaceful and quiet, far above the daily noise of city life far below. I love the city, this particular hotel. I love moments like these.

My thoughts drift to a dear friend of mine who is going through a painful time, grieving the recent loss of her dear friend and the difficult transition to gain back her footing and well being. At a loss for words, I told her to never give up, and promised her that things will work out, they always do. I now realize I said it not only for her, but for myself as well, knowing what it's like to go through an unbearable situation. I know her. She’s strong.

I woke to the sounds of church bells ringing in the distance below and the melodic voice of my 5 year-old and one her favorite sayings, “Wake up Daddy, it’s a Sunny Day!”

Both dark nights and sunny days are part of this life we live. Both will come, but we can live life one day at a time, knowing the dark nights won't last.

Have a Sunny Day!

-R

(pic 2: sunrise over the city)

2006-02-01T06:41:00.000-08:00

HEAVEN
After I read my precious five year-old Gillian a favorite bedtime story, she said her prayers and I tucked her into bed. I watched as she drifted asleep, like an angel, but after a few moments, she opened her eyes, furrowed her eyebrows and inquisitively asked me, “Daddy…what’s heaven look like?”

A question like that melts a Daddy’s heart.

I whispered to her, “Heaven is the most beautiful place you could ever imagine, it’s always sunny and warm like Spring, there’s all kinds of pretty flowers and waterfalls and trees and you can run and play in the tall green grass all day long. All the houses are shiny and sparkly like glitter. You never get a tummy ache or an owee, you’re never sad, you never cry, you’re always happy and laughing and playing.

She asked, “How do you get there? Do you fly? Like angels with wings?”

“Umm, yes Honey.”

“Is Jesus there? Does he have wings too? Will I see him? I don’t want to see him by myself.”

“You won’t ever be by yourself. All the people who you love will be there too.”

“Like you and Mommy and my cousins, and Aunties and Uncles and friends from school?”

“Yes, Love.”

“And Granny and Grampy too.”

“Yes, Granny and Grampy too.”

“Thank you Daddy. Good night, I love you.”

“I love you too Sweetie, my Bella. Sweet dreams…”

2006-01-30T15:38:00.000-08:00

HOPE

Busy day Saturday.

Attended an event in San Francisco sponsored by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society that recapped the latest findings from the Annual American Society of Hematology (ASH) Meeting. The ASH Conference is the premier event where the latest findings in the cutting edge research and treatment of blood cancers are presented. So it was a chance for me to catch up with the newest Emerging Therapies for blood cancers, particularly Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML).

On an informational level, I wanted to see the advances in treatment specifically for those who have become resistant to the medication I’m taking, Gleevec. Several months ago I became resistant to treatment, (relapsed/the cancer came back) so I’m now at the maximum dosage and doing fine. Because of cancer’s unpredictability, there’s always a chance that I may relapse again, so I wanted to know what other options were out there.

The lead presenter was Dr. Steven Coutre out of Stanford. This guy was sharp (and BTW, used a Mac for his presentation, I like him already.) A significantly detailed summary on the latest research of CML. If you were an organic chemist you’d feel right at home. Out of the jumble of terms such as BCR-abl, Philadelphia Chromosome, Cytogenetic, Chromosomal, Hematological, Primary Endpoint, progression and reduction, one stood out: Dasatinib.

Dasatinib is a drug specifically for patients who’ve become resistant to Gleevec. In clinical trials, it’s been extremely effective, 300 to 1000 times more potent than Gleevec in inhibiting the mechanism that triggers the leukemic cells to mutate and multiply. It’s already been filed (12/05) for the FDA’s approval in record time, and should be available to patients soon.

(pic: bcr-abl kinase, which causes CML in green, inhibited by small molecule Imatinib mesylate in red)

To summarize all that medical technobabble: this is extraordinarily great news! It means I have effective and optimistic options available should I need them.

It still isn’t considered a cure, rather controlling the progression of the disease but not eliminating it. He said that CML is the best type of leukemia to have because of the remarkable effectiveness of the treatments available that are well tolerated with very few serious side effects.

On the most intimate level, the reason I wanted to attend this event was because I was looking for hope and reassurance as I fight this crazy disease in my body. I found what I was looking for in a funny sounding drug, Dasatinib.

(note: healthwise, I’m doing fine. I have another round of tests next week so of course will keep everyone updated.)

We skipped out on the rest of the conference and went to lunch and shopping downtown on Market. The mall had a cool ‘Hello Kitty’ store so I took a couple of pics to show G. Traditionally, I’ll buy her a little pen/pencil/sticker set whenever there’s a store around.

Played basketball that evening, about 20 plus guys, closed gym, haven’t played since last summer. One of my favorite things to do. I sometimes get lost in the game, just enjoying the moment, the teamwork, the competition. In every moment lies some of my favorite memories: as a child, shooting hoops on my driveway court until the sun went down; pick up games on the courts around the neighborhood, here and in LA; staring out the bus window on the way to an out of town game, blasting EWF through my Walkman (remember those?) as part of my pregame ritual; crazy shots playing H-O-R-S-E with the boys; game after game during summer vacation on the inferno-like blacktop courts; the silence of the crowd as you shoot a free throw.

I’ll probably join a league this summer, should be enough time to get in playing shape. (I’m still sore from Saturday.) Maybe join a 40 and over league. Yikes, did I just say that! (still can't bring myself to write my Birthday post…)

Also can’t wait to starting teaching Gilly the basics, just like I was taught. She’s a lefty, who are typically pure shooters. Intrinsically, I think she may want to be a cheerleader instead of a player (she loves to sing and dance), but not if I can help it!

My friend knows the father of local girl swimmer who had a brilliant amateur career. He told me about a conversation he had with him. The father said that when she was young, he would always tell her “When you grow up, I want other people to be cheering for you first, not you cheering for other people.” She would later set American and International Records and become a legend at Cal Berkeley and recently won several Gold medals in Athens.

I tell Gillian this, but I don’t think she understands yet. Ultimately, I’m going to encourage her to do whatever she loves, to follow her heart, her passion, just like Daddy. ☺
(pic: "with the future athlete or cheerleader?")

(first pic: Dale Chihuly Glass Sculpture Ceiling, Bellagio Resort, Las Vegas)

2006-01-23T07:17:00.000-08:00

ROCKING CHAIR

I can’t get this image out of my mind since last week. I read something that got me thinking (which is always dangerous.) So much to say lately but don’t know quite how to express it.

One of the things I use in setting goals and making decisions is taking the Rocking Chair Test. I imagine myself very old, like my beautiful grandma who will turn 91 in two days, mind still lucid and agile, still feisty, a life well-lived her way. I’m in the twilight of my life, sitting in my rocking chair on the terrace of my home on the beach. I feel the warmth of the sun on my face as the clear blue ocean waves splash on shore. I think about all the people who have touched my life, the challenges I’ve overcome, the many faraway places I’ve been, the things I’ve experienced, contributed and accomplished.

I then ask myself if there are other things I’ll regret not doing when I look back at my life from the vantage point of my Rocking Chair. Will I miss out on an entire lifetime of experience and joy because I didn’t want to take a step when I was young (now)? Will there be sadness because I never pursued opportunities, experiences, relationships? Or will I look back at those things with a sense of fulfillment and joy because I pursued my dreams and followed my heart. Will I have lived a life of passion with no regrets.

When I view things from this perspective it makes decisions a lot clearer, though not necessarily easy.

Something to think about…

Have an amazing day!

-R

MY NEW YEAR'S WISH FOR YOU

That Life would be an amazing adventure.
That your time is now, this day is your life.
That you won’t put off your best life.
That you’ll breathe in life deeply.
That each day, you’ll do something that makes your heart beat faster with joy.
That you’ll find moments that make your heart jump, that take your breath away.
That your dreams would become real.
That you’ll shine brilliantly.
That you’ll make every moment a work of art.
That you’ll get to the end with a smile.
That you’ll fall madly in love with life. Life is good.

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” –Thoreau

with Love and Passion.

-R

2006-01-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

'SEIZE THE DAY'

Three years ago today I was DXed (medical speak: diagnosed) with Leukemia during my annual routine physical that turned out to be anything but. I have so much gratitude and appreciation for another string of 365 days that I’ve been given.

My latest medical tests came back normal, which means the cancer is still under control. I have another routine test in February. I’m so thankful for my health. Those living with cancer see their five year anniversary as significant in that it usually means you are in full remission. So the next year or two will be pivotal in that the normal pattern of this cancer shows either a stabilization of the disease at year five (good) or a resistance to the treatment and a degradation of health at year four or five (very very bad). That's only one year from now. Knowing this inspires me to live more fully.

In reflecting over the past year I smile and sigh in thinking how life is an unpredictable adventure. I’ve learned to treat every moment as precious, life is short. To be mindful of life, to breathe in life deeply. To be intentional in my actions. To live and love in real time, live with no regrets.

So much more to say…(more in my “New Year” and “Birthday” post which is already late...)

Carpe Diem.

-R (Pic: company banquet 12/05)

2005-12-09T16:10:00.000-08:00

ALOHA!
My Team In Training teammates, after months of training, will be running in the Honolulu Marathon this weekend. Here's my shout out to them:

Aloha TNT Teammates!

This is Roman and I’m honored to be one of the team’s honorees. Congratulations on a great training season and for getting to the start line of the Honolulu Marathon, you’ve already accomplished so much.

I was born here in the city in which you are about to run. As a matter of fact, my birthday is this month (27th) and it happens to be my big 4-0. My maternal grandmother was full-blooded Hawaiian. I’ve lived on “the mainland” for most of my life but am proud to have a rich heritage of hospitality and beauty.

The word Aloha, recognized around the world as a Hawaiian greeting, means much more than “hi, how are you” or “see you later.” It comes from the Hawaiian word ha, which is the very essence of Hawaii. It means “breath of life.” So Aloha, though a simple act of greeting, is filled with deep and profound implications, literally translated, “may you have everlasting breath.”

In ancient times, Hawaiians would greet one another by pressing their foreheads together, nose-to-nose, and inhaling at the same time. This represented the exchange of ha, or “exchanging the breath of life.”

What a beautiful and sacred description of what you do as part of the Team In Training family! Your sacrifice, fundraising and commitment to the Cause is “exchanging the breath of life” with the thousands of people and families whose lives have been impacted by blood cancers.

Mahalo (thank you) from my family and I. Have a wonderful race, may you feel the Aloha spirit as you run.

Stay well.

-R

2005-11-01T14:53:00.000-08:00

HEROES II
I was in the city on Saturday for the Team In Training (TNT) Pasta Party before the Nike Women’s Marathon. I was invited by the team as one of their honoree/patients. It was time for me to say thank you for the many wonderful participants who raise money for cancer research by completing an endurance event. There were over 4000 TNT participants, and an incredible $4 million+ raised from this event alone, that’s $140,000/mile!

AMAZING!
In his keynote address, Dwayne Howell, Leukemia and Lymphoma President and CEO remarked on how effective the medicine Gleevec is, 85% of CML patients have survived for over four years with manageable conditions and side effects. I’m one who is responding well to the treatment, going on three(!) years in January 2006. The most exciting part is that with the continuing research in complementary therapy (combining Gleevec with other drugs, a ‘drug cocktail’) that according to one of the Society’s senior staff, “in a few years there is the realistic belief that the greatest danger facing CML patients will be not buckling up (their seatbelt) to take a drive.” Hearing these updates that affect me personally brought tears to my eyes. With my daughter in my lap, I tried not to lose it with all my friends around the table.

VACCINE
They’re also making progress in developing a vaccine to restore the immune system of those having a bone marrow transplant, shortening part of the treatment and recovery from one month down to two weeks! A BMT is a very invasive, painful procedure and treatment with a lengthy recovery, where all your bad, cancerous blood is killed and replaced by new, good blood from another matching donor. The immune system is purposefully wiped out to allow the body to accept the new blood (simple explanation). The danger from infection is very high in the critical recovery period. Most deaths are not from the cancer, but from treatment-related infection and complications. Hopefully I’ll remain responsive to the Gleevec and won’t need a BMT, though I have a donor just in case. Shout out to my buddy Phil who’s in month three after his BMT. Love you man! That’s why TNTer’s are my heroes, they make research like this possible.

BARBIE
At the Season Kick Off, I told the dozens of new participants the story about my first Century Ride and my Pink Barbie Bandaid:
“Someone asked me what was the most memorable part of the ride. I have many, but one of the most memorable was also the worst part of my ride. Around mile 50 I started feeling what I had imagined riding a century would be like: fatigue, pain, the onset of cramps, legs which felt like stumps of dead wood, struggling into a headwind in my granny gear. I thought of these words I’d heard earlier “when you get to that point in the ride, enjoy it because you can.”

A couple of months earlier during a training ride, I injured myself on the bike and my daughter Gillian gave me a Barbie Bandaid for my ‘owee.’ Before the ride I stuck one of her pink Barbie band-aids on my handlebar stem as a touchstone, a reminder for my reason for riding. When things got tough, I gently touched it with my fingers and just kept pedaling through the pain and wind as I thought of my 2 year-old.

Cycling makes me feel alive. When I ride, there are unmistakable signs of life, my steady breathing, the tension in the muscles in my legs, the pounding of my heart. Even pain reminds me that I am alive. So I don’t view pain as an enemy, it’s only temporary. It’s a reminder of life, which is good.

What happened next is hard to explain. After a few miles I caught my second wind. Whether it was a endorphin or adrenalin or a tailwind I found myself cycling at speeds that were very fast for me, and pedaling was almost effortless, like I was floating. I wish I could ride that way all the time...”

Ashleigh and Cara of the San Francisco team surprised me by showing me a team “Spirit Cape” they made with the words ‘STRIVE’ spelled out with pink Barbie Bandaids! I was speechless and extremely touched by their gesture. I introduced them to Gillian, the inspiration of the Barbie Bandaids, which made the moment even more poignant.

What a wonderful evening. I saw so many old and new friends, too many to name, all heroes in my book. Love you guys! Go Team!

2005-10-31T23:43:00.000-08:00

BEAUTY

Came across this in my reading:

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we know that life is difficult-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters." -Dr. M Scott Peck

Trying to work this through especially in my life right now, though not there yet. One thing I do know, however, is that there is always beauty in the chaos, in the mess and the pain of life.

Beauty-'Bella'; like the plumeria, full of color, leaves unfolding, fragrance very exotic.

Simple, short entry for now. Lots more to say later.//

2005-10-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

FIRST RAIN

First rain today of the season today. I guess I can let go of the last vestiges of a wonderful summer, put away the shorts and flip-flops and get out my sweaters and jackets. I’ll miss the warm sun on my face, but enjoy the cool crisp air of Fall, a harbinger of the holiday season.

I love the change of seasons. I’d be hard pressed to say which season I enjoy the most, so much to love about all of them. (If forced to choose, summer has a slight edge over fall.) Of course we all prefer one over the others, but they all seem to last the exact right amount of time. Just like in life.

Seasons in life make life interesting. There’s an awareness of constant growth, of inevitable change, of movement. Never boring, a predictable unpredictability.

One way to live to the fullest is to recognize that we all have a limited amount of seasons left to enjoy. If we only have, say, 20 more Fall Seasons left in life, what would we do THIS Fall Season. Would we take our children Trick or Treating or to the pumpkin patch, or wait until one of the next 19 seasons. See their first music recital, their first football game or wait until next year. Visit relatives during Thanksgiving or finally NOT visiting relatives, or wait to do it (or not do it) next year. Well, you get the picture. We may have 50 more Fall Seasons, or this may be our last. Motivating, sobering thought.

Already saw two accidents on the freeway this morning. Drive safe out there. You need to come back to those you love.

2005-10-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

BOYS AND THEIR TOYS

My brother and I went to a General Motors car show today, where you can actually test drive cars and trucks out on a course without the hassle of a salesman breathing down you shoulder. Just pick a car, get in line, and drive! Granted it's not a race course, nor is it intended to be (no squeeling tires), but you get a good idea for how the car or truck performs and 'feels'. Some doofuses thought it was NASCAR and sped out of control into the safety cones. They lost their driving privileges (ie, got booted out.)

Lots of GM cars along with some of their competitors. Here's what I drove:

Hummer H3: Drove through an off-road SUV 'obstacle' course with hills, bends, ditches, mud. That was fun, pseudo four-wheeling. Nice manageable size, not too overbearing like its big brother H2. Handled the obstacles with aplomb. Comfortable cockpit and driver vantage point. Not much visibility inside, windows are more like slits, like gun turrets, but I'm sure I'd manage. Have to pick one up.

Lincoln Navigator: plush land yacht.

Ford SSR: Two seater, convertible truck, 390 HP(!). I must say I love the open air cockpit, sun on my face, wind in my hair (okay head). I think I need a convertible (though not this one), yes, need. Contributes to my joy. Imagine a cool sunny day, driving down the coast, favorite 'roadtrip' music playing. Practical? Maybe not. So what's your point?

Mercedes Benz E Series: Oh yes. Plush, powerful, smooth, quiet. Black. Extension from my feet and hands to the road. I like. A lot. Need to pick one up.

Lots of other cars on site that we didn't have the desire or time to drive: new Corvette, Pontiac Solstice, GTO, Saabs, BMWs, Cadillacs, SVTs, Escalades, Denalis, Acura TL, Lexus ES.

Sat (but didn't drive) an $80,000 Cadillac XLR Convertible (see pic.) Very nice. Fit like a glove. Need to pick one up.

Ask most guys how many cars they would own if money were no object and most would already have a dream stable of cars in their mind. An SUV, a sports sedan, a sports coupe, a hot rod, a touring convertible, a sports convertible, a truck-much to the chagrin of their women counterparts. But us guys don't understand why women need several black shoes and purses. Same thing, right?

My picks (for now):
SUV: Range Rover
Sports Sedan: MB CLS55 AMG
Sports Coupe: Ford Shelby GR1
Hot Rod: Custom Mustang GT
Convertible: Porsche Speedster
Truck: ?

All pewter grey. Ahh, boys and their toys.

2005-10-19T15:02:00.000-07:00

A CUBICLE FOR YOU AND YOUR MUSE

There are places cropping up as uniquely writers' spaces. Check out this NY Times article. Oh man, that looks sweet. Quiet, focused, inspirational, what a great space. If one opened up nearby I'm there. Maybe I should add opening one up onto my "Life (To Do) List." I'm always on the lookout for spaces/places to write. My home office is sometimes too distracting, unless late at night when the house is quiet or I'm lost in music through my headphones. Starbucks is cool-energy, soy chai, WiFi-but sometimes too noisy to concentrate. The library is too sterile, doesn't inspire me and you can't bring snacks/(smart) water in. All my bookstores in the area have a serious electrical outlet deficiency, none in the in-store cafes. My Mac PowerBook can go about 3 hours on one (battery) charge so either a spare battery or plug in is needed. The hidden outlets I've found are labeled 'Store Use Only." Cheapos. They're losing a bevy of aspiring writers, authors, screenwriters, playwrights (and bloggers!)

Article excerpt: Hominess is part of the appeal at Paragraph; writers, after all, notoriously crave nurturing. But those who use this space have a practical reason to show up as well: to overcome the temptation to procrastinate, and to get down to the hard work of writing.
"When you write at home, there's a lot of distraction," Ms. Parisi said. "You want to go clean out the fridge, or tweeze your eyebrows. But when you go to a space to write, that's what you do."

Paragraph and the Writers Junction are part of a growing number of members-only centers springing up in writerly metropolises like New York, Boston and Los Angeles. For $100 a month, on average, members secure the right to a desk, a lamp and a power strip in a shared space where they can ply their trade day and night.
Ms. Parisi compares writers' rooms to gyms. In both, a large group of people share the same equipment. And, paying for membership helps writers take their commitment to writing seriously, she said, and gets them "off of the couch" and onto the literary StairMaster.

2005-10-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

PEN GEEK

Because I read and write a lot I'm very particular about my pens and highlighters. I'm using the new Sharpie Accent RT Highlighters, I love them-they have a retractable clicker(!) which keeps it from drying out the pen. I'm notorious for misplacing caps. I've tossed all my other highlighters in the 'reject' box.

I'm on a quest to find the 'perfect' pen for me. The grip has to have a comfortable, tactile feel that isn't too large or thin to cramp my hands. It has to have some 'weight' and not feel too light and cheap. The nib has to glide and be a tiny bit 'porous' on the paper. I'm experimenting with either a .7 or 1.0 mm tip width. It should be affordable so that it's easily replaceable if lost. (I have a Mont Blanc that still sits in its case. Don't want to lose that or have my daughter get a hold of it for one of her 'projects.') I don't like ballpoints or Gel ink. They run out of ink too fast and the line width isn't uniform. Also, the pen needs a clicker, no cap. Black ink not blue.

Haven't found it yet, close, but not perfect. In the running: Bic Z4 Bold, Pilot PreciseGrip Broad, Uni-ball Signo RT 0.7, Pilot Precise Zing Fine. I spent half an hour at Office Depot just looking at different pens, reading package descriptions, and 'illegally' trying them out. What a geek.

Also love Sharpies. I've actually been on their website, looking for new releases. Most I've never seen in stores. There are Sharpies all over the house, in my tool box, in my cars, my backpacks/briefcases. You can never have too many Sharpies, always come in handy. I bought a huge pack (different colors) from Costco. Nice. The retractable (RT) black ones are a must-have. (See *SIDESTORY)

So my pen holder on my desk has a few different colored Sharpie highlighters, a bunch of the same brand of pens, one red-ink pen, a retractable click Sharpie RT, a twin-tip Sharpie, one mechanical pencil and an Exacto Pen (to cut out magazine articles, open DVDs etc.)

No one's allowed to use my pens/highlighters. They have to use one from the 'reject' box. I told you I was a pen geek. I don't know, I just like what I like.

(*SIDESTORY: So I used to work at a prestigious law firm in downtown San Francisco. They had a huge supply room staffed by four people. It was like Christmas morning there. You could basically walk in, browse the aisles, and take whatever you wanted-pens, highlighters, calendars, staplers, binders, Post-its, calculators, legal pads-lots of those of course-etc. EXCEPT for Sharpies. My coworkers said the company stopped supplying them and employees had to just buy them on their own. What?!

So I phoned The Keeper of the Goods, 'Mike' the Supply Manager and said I'm on a quest for a Sharpie and if he could help me track some down. He said come by, he had some. Yes!

When I went to triumphantly claim my booty, he looked me over somewhat suspiciously, slowly stood up from behind his desk, took out a keyring with dozens of keys, ceremoniously walked over to the 'locked' cabinets, and took out a fresh, unopened box of Sharpies.

But did he give me the entire box? Of course not. That would cost one of my kidneys. He slowly took out ONE Sharpie and said "Now these are the 'Twin Tip' Sharpies, with both a broad and fine point on one pen" as if to magnify the gravity of the moment. Unbelievable. What the...?

I finagled three out of him, much to the envy of my coworkers. Sheesh, I had to lock them in my desk. I guess I'm not the only Sharpie geek. The quest was more interesting than it should have been, but I can rest at night knowing those Sharpies are safe, locked in the cabinet.

I hope I won't get sued by them for posting this.)

2005-10-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

MOVIE LIST-BATMAN RETURNS

The DVD came out today. Bought the widescreen, special edition of course. Full screen=anathema.

I love this movie. Christopher Nolan, Christian Bale and all the supporting actors got it right.

I remember seeing it in the theater this summer. Great movie theater, spacious, encompassing sound and an amazing movie crowd with me that night. For me, one of those summer blockbuster movie experiences you never forget, like Star Wars, the first Batman, T2, ET, The Matrix, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

Geek Alert: Favorite comic book movie before Spidey 2 and X-Men 2. More of a Batman Fan than a Superman fan. Like the smarts, cunning, dark side, gadgets of Batman over the Boy Scout Superman. Frank Miller's take on Batman, 'The Dark Knight Returns' is a must read. One of the best selling graphic novels of all time.

End Geek Alert.

2005-10-17T14:35:00.000-07:00

MY FIRST TRIATHLON

Pacific Grove Triathlon, Monterey Bay, CA.

I've always wanted to do a triathlon. Since I didn't have the time to train this year (err, learn how to swim, that is), I decided to do the bike leg of a triathlon as part of a relay team. Stick my foot in the 'tri' waters, though not literally (this time anyway.)

Gorgeous, sunny, cool day. Biking the 3 miles in the early morning from the hotel to the race start was mesmerizing, sun just coming up, looking out over the Pacific Ocean.

Saw lots of my old Team In Training friends. Love them!

The energy and anticipation at these things are electric. Everyone's nervous, racking their bikes and setting up their gear before the race starts. All the racers gets marked before the race. They write your race number and age group category on your arms and legs with a black permanent marker. I felt 'official' after I got my numbers on.

Well, my friends said they were doing it for fun, and not for time. But once you get there, it is definitely a 'race.' A fun one, but a 'race' nonetheless. Waiting for our team member to get done with swim, I felt like a track relay member waiting for the baton to be passed. Actually, we do pass a 'baton' of sorts, the timing chip that wraps around your ankle.

So Elise our swimmer (stud), gets out of the water, we transfer the chip, and I go running off with my bike for my part of the relay. It felt so good to be out among the 2000+(!) racers. Everyone's not out on the course at the same time though, we start in different 'waves' 15 minutes apart, categorized by age/sex, etc.

Of course I was happy to be out there as a celebration of life, because I can.

That feeling lessened somewhat soon after, replaced by the pain in my legs, lungs and back. Riding in a tri is a lot different then riding a century. A century is about pacing yourself for a long day in the saddle, with enough rest stops as you need, pacelining, others riding in your group, enduring the pain and discomfort. A tri race is about going as fast and hard as you can, no stopping, pushing passed the sharp pain, staying aerodynamic, keeping your pedaling cadence constant. When I finally got off the bike, my legs felt like rubber, and I still had to run to where Raquel our runner (stud), was waiting for me to exchange the baton (chip).

I had so much fun and gave it my all. Gorgeous, flat course. Watching the waves break on the beach. Looking at the golfers on a pristine course. Hearing the cheers of well wishers. Needless to say I want to do it again. I'll definitely train more. Of course want a faster bike as well. Man, some of the guys (and gals) on the course were fast, zipping by as if they weren't even trying. Very awe inspiring. That will be me at my next race.

Elise and I waited at the finish line for Raquel. Yeah! We picked up our medals and hung around for a while to watch the Pros and other people finish. Devoured a chicken sandwich and enjoyed an ice cream cone afterwards (I deserved it.)

Just a great day.

2005-10-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

HEROES

"Heroism is an act of utter selflessness and it is only through heroic acts that I believe one becomes truly great. While you may never have the opportunity of jumping into a swift river to pull out a small child or running into a blazing building to drag out a trapped family, you do on a daily basis have the opportunity of practicing the same form of selflessness as front-page heroes. -The Biology of Success, Dr. Bob Arnot

I consider the countless volunteers and participants of Team In Training among my heroes. They raise money for cancer research and services by participating in endurace events such as a marathons, triathlons, or bike century rides, many of them first-timers. Here's a letter I sent to the team.

October 2005

Hey SF/Marin Team!

This is Roman Seguerre, we may have met at the Honoree Breakfast or heard me speak at Kick Off about my battle with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML), a cancer of the blood where the white blood cells mutate and escalate out of control.

SHOUT OUT
I wanted to give you an update on how I’m doing and say thank you to all you endurance athletes. Yes, I’m talking to ALL of you! Whether you view yourself as one or not, you are. I’m proud to call you Team In Training Teammates, and stunned by the work you do training and raising money for the Cause.

You really do make a difference in my life. The money you raise helps fund the continuing research of Gleevec, the drug treatment that is keeping me alive.

I’ve enjoyed talking to many of you and sharing your stories, why you became involved with TNT. Some are so kind to view my journey with Leukemia as ‘heroic,’ but I must say we all have a heroic journey we must travel. The admiration is mutual.

OUCH! WHEW!
I’m finally recovered from my biannual Bone Marrow Biopsy, a little procedure where they extract a sample bone chip and marrow from my hipbone to test the efficacy of the drug. It’s more accurate and sophisticated than a simple blood test.

The tests results came back as normal(!), meaning that there were no cancer cells discovered in the blood and that my current treatment is keeping the cancer under ‘control.’ It’s not considered a cure, but delaying the progression of the disease.

BEAUTY
Cancer has given me a different perspective on life, counting everyday as a privilege. I often tell others to not wait until they face a life-threatening illness to finally cause them to live the life they’ve always wanted. Do what you love, with the people you love. Life is so short, so precious, even in difficult, numbing times.

Life is seldom easy. In fact, if you’re breathing, life can be undeniably painful at times. I know first hand. I’ve decided to never live in denial, but to allow myself to feel life deeply, truthfully, as it is. Even with the daily fact of cancer, I’ve found that there’s always beauty in the mess and chaos of life. Life is good.

DISNEYLAND LESSONS
I recently returned from a family trip to Disneyland, a favorite of my 4-½ year old daughter. On her first trip there about a year ago, upon entering the park, she was mesmerized by the ubiquitous souvenir stand there at the front entrance. As I excitedly hurried toward Main Street, pass the stand, she screamed, ‘No Daddy, Stop! Toys! I want a toy!” “Later Honey, we’re at Disneyland!” A very public mini-tantrum ensues. Of all places, weren’t we supposed to be at the “Happiest Place on Earth”? She didn’t understand that just a few feet farther opened up all the wonders of the Magic Kingdom, experiences etched in my childhood memories.

How often in life do we ‘settle’ for just loitering at the souvenir stand? In our diminished view of a life taken for granted, we’re content with the uninspired, unimportant trinkets of a routine, predictable life, when if we just pushed pass our fears, out of our comfort zone, we’d find the adventurous joy and wonder of a life we were meant to live, the life of our dreams.

Don’t settle. If you don’t love what you do, where you live, where you work, how you look, where you’re heading, how you’re growing, then make a change. Your time is limited. Don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Follow your heart. After all, it’s your life-you’re only life-that we’re talking about.

GO TEAM!
So congratulations! These past months you’ve all pushed passed your fears and self-doubt to train for your event. Last month I cheered and raced along with many of our fellow TNT-ers at the Pacific Grove Triathlon. The energy, excitement and spirit were overwhelming. Definitely felt the TNT Love.

You’ll find that same spirit at your race as well, something you’ll remember for the rest of your lives. Thanks for letting me share part of my story. I’ll see many of you at the Nike Halfers Send-Off Party and will be at the Nike Women’s Marathon Pasta Party in SF to cheer you on and to say thank you. Please come and say hello.

“When the morning’s freshness has been replaced by the weariness of midday, when the leg muscles quiver under the strain, the climb seems endless, and, suddenly, nothing will go quite as you wish-it is then that you must not hesitate.” –Dag Hammarskjold, U.N. Secretary General, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate

Stay well. Go Team!

Roman Seguerre

Me and a very happy princess. Disneyland Sept. 2005

2005-10-13T19:46:00.000-07:00

IPOD VIDEO

Oh my. I want.

First the nano, now the new iPod (with video). You run out of superlatives for Steve Jobs and all the geniuses at Apple. (actually, will post a 'Switcher' entry soon and just started the book "iCon Steve Jobs: The Greatest Second Act in the History of Business. So far a fascinating read.)

Like all Apple products, simple, beautifully designed and engineered with an elegant interface.

I have a 1GB Shuffle and a 3rd Generation iPod, but my iPod won't hold a charge for long. I'm waiting for the battery to be replaced by Apple due to a recent court settlement but may just upgrade to the new one, could really use the extra gigs of storage, already out of room on my 15 gig (lots of new audiobooks) and the video and bigger color screen is a nice bonus.

Who will win the war for my disposable (gadget) income this Christmas Season? Sony (PSP), Nintendo (DS), Apple (iPod), Microsoft (XBox 360), Motorola (Razr) or Ford (Mustang GT)? Toss up: iPod or Mustang (or both!)

2005-10-12T16:00:00.000-07:00

PLAYLIST-Alicia & Maroon 5 Live

I picked up Alicia Keys' new CD/DVD, "Unplugged." I looove her/her music/songwriting. Caught her peformance on MTV Music Awards a few months back, she jammed it up live, full orchestra, arrangement so beautiful and moving.

"If I Ain't Got You" is one of my all time fav songs, in the pantheon which includes EWF and Chaka. Something about her music that moves me, like when you hear a certain song and it brings you back to a special time in your life.

I'm also listening to Maroon 5's new live CD/DVD. I mostly prefer Live albums, more synergy, spontaneity, freshness than studio work.

Stevie's got a new one out, sounds good. Time to download it off of iTunes.

2005-10-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

CLOSE SHAVE

I shaved my head and goatee(!) off today. I'm big on rituals, traditions, milestones so I made it my own little ritual. I just needed/wanted a change, albeit brief. In the 13-ish years I'm been wearing a goatee, I've probably only shaved it off maybe three times.

When I picked up my daughter Gillian from preschool, I'll normally just watch her play or color for a few moments before I call her. This time she looked up, saw me, smiled, and continued coloring.

As I walked toward her, her face contorted and she exclaimed, "Daddy, why is your face so different? I thought you were someone else's Daddy!" She kept staring at me with a puzzled look, 'you look funny!' Even her teacher asked if I was the Daddy. She thought I was an uncle. Funny.

An informal poll shows that most like me with my goatee, but sans goatee makes me look younger. They're not use to seeing my lips or my 'Cindy Crawford' mole.

I'm growing it back but maybe keep it tighter. Sorry no pics. Wouldn't want to scare anyone.

2005-10-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

I'M BACK

After a year long hiatus (hey life happens!), I'm going back to blogging. Lots to catch up. Rambles, mundane, sublime, observations, reflections.

Just saying that I'm back again after another year of life is a cause for celebration in itself. (see May 9, 2004 post)

2004-10-01T16:04:00.000-07:00

HEALTH UPDATE

Sorry I haven't updated my blog in a while. After getting the news about my relapse, it's been hard for me to write, at least publicly. I've done quite a bit of journaling.

But here's the latest:

Great news. As far as my latest test results, so far so good. It came back negative, which is fabulous. The increased dosage of my targeted therapy (Gleevec) is working. But I am still waiting on the results for one other test, which is the most accurate.

I’ll try not to get too technical but there are basically three tests used to diagnose Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML), with increasing levels of sensitivity. First they look at the blood level (CBC Test), then at the cellular/chromosomal level (FISH Test) and finally, at the DNA/molecular level (PCR Test), the most sensitive and accurate test. I’ve come back negative on the first two tests (which is good) and will get the results from the PCR Test in about two weeks.

The best part is that because of my negative FISH Test, it is extremely unlikely that I will need aggressive treatment at this time(!) in the form of a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT). There is the likelihood of residual disease, but even if the PCR Test comes back positive, the trace amounts would be extemely small so I’d still continue with Gleevec and not need a BMT.

There are still some issues that need to be resolved, we still don’t know the durability of remission and this still isn’t considered a cure, only the delaying of the disease's progression. But I'm so thankful for Gleevec, without it life would be much different for me.

So basically, I can get on with my life. I’ve gotten a second chance (actually a third chance.)

Life is short. Life is good.

2004-09-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

BACK ON THE BIKE

I was out riding on today, the first time in a while. Everyone's babying me, saying I should rest because of the fatigue and side effects of my meds but I just had to go out. In some ways they were right, it was harder than I anticipated and I had to cut short my normal loop.

At one point in the ride, fighting fatigue, I asked myself, "why am I doing this again?" The answer inevitably comes back, "because I can." Cycling has become so enjoyable to me. I love the way the world looks on a bike, the way it moves by. Distractions of life disappear, and I get to experience the sense of silence that's so important in this fast-paced life. Even the suffering aspect of cycling--my labored breath, the fatigue in my legs, the sense of my pounding heartbeat--reminds me that I'm alive and I'm so thankful for that.

Part of my route includes a portion of road that has a beautiful view of the water but also a "No Bicycling Allowed" sign, but with no explanation added. So I did my civic duty and ignored the sign, thinking it would be no big deal. A few minutes later a security guard behind a fence yelled "no biking." I smiled and just kept riding, albeit I picked up the pace a little bit, (okay, a lot). I was waiting for him to catch me with his car but to no avail. Even in my tired state he was no match for me. Just kidding, he probably thought I wasn't worth the effort. I can't wait to go by there again.

2004-08-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

THE "L" WORD

I believe life is all about the "L" word. Here's some quotes I came across in my reading. Enjoy.

"Someday, after we have mastered
the winds, the waves, the tide
and gravity, we shall harness for God
the energies of love.
Then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955)

"Take away love and our earth is a tomb."
-Robert Browning

2004-08-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

JAZZ MARATHON

The JVC Jazz Festival was in town, Jean and I took the plunge. Five acts over 7 hours, egads.

Worth it.

The line-up included Gerald Albright, Jeff Lorber, Richard Elliot, Lee Ritenour,
Rick Braun, Dave Koz, Wayman Tisdale, Jonathan Butler and drummers Rayford Griffin and Ricky Lawson, all heavies in the jazz and music scene.

Wayman's a former NBA player (and all-star I think). He turned his passion for music into a post-NBA career. Plays a mean bass guitar, clean tones and grooves hard. He's legit now. The show ended with Earth Wind & Fire's cover, "Can't Hide Love," which I was hoping they'd play. I was up off my seat. Last Friday we had two free tickets to see EWF at the same venue but we couldn't use them because we were travelling to Disneyland. I actually considered leaving for L.A. right after the show and driving through the night. It pained me not to see them but I had to get my little girl to the Happiest Place on Earth.

Gerald Albright plays a mean axe, they were doing a tribute to Grover Washington Jr. A definite crowd pleaser.

The main reason why we went to the show was to see Jonathan Butler, one of my all time favorite artists. I've been waiting for him to play in the Bay Area. He didn't disappoint. Classical guitar, smooth vocals, soulful and spiritual, entertaining savvy.

One of my life's edicts is "Do What You Love." Listening to good music that moves me is one of them.

2004-08-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

TIME OFF

I took an extended leave from work starting today. They were totally supportive and kept my status open with an option to come back on my own time frame.

I want to use this time to spend more time with Gilly as well as take care of other personal, medical and legal things and just doing things that I love to do. Gilly will still be in school for the next two weeks and then we'll take her out for the time being. I'm hoping to take a personal retreat and get away for a few days by myself and do some reading, writing and riding. I'm also going to try to meet with other doctors and get a second opinion on my course of options.

Hopefully things will turn out well but I didn't want to regret not taking the time off.

2004-08-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

I love Disneyland so I couldn't wait to bring Gillian for her first time. G was a little overwhelmed at first but her expressions of wonder and joy on "It's a Small World" were worth the trip. She took pictures with and got autographs from her favorite princesses Snow White and Belle and also Stitch and Minnie. Other characters she was scared of.

Her favorite part of Disneyland (actually California Adventure) was running through the water fountains. Hundreds of dollars and and hundreds of miles travelled and she's having the most fun just getting wet. We could have stayed home and turned on the sprinklers. Actually, there's Disney Playhouse and A Bug's Life 3D Adventure and lots of other things for kids so she had a blast. She was so cute wearing those oversized 3D glasses and swiping at the air in front of her trying to catch the 3D bug.

Gillian wasn't feeling well so her planned afternoon nap back at the hotel turned into an overnight sleep. So I ended going back to Disneyland by myself in the evening. It was fine by all parties. I was like a kid again, waiting in line on rides, walking through the crowds, stopping on Main Street to watch the fireworks, combing through dozens of Disney trinkets and T-shirts. I loved it.

Next fall we're having a big family reunion at Disneyland, with most of my relatives flying in from Hawaii. Can't wait.

2004-08-16T18:29:00.000-07:00

SOLD OUT

I went to Niketown in the city to pick up some more Lance Armstrong LiveStrong wristbands and they were all sold out and not expecting any more in.

Apparently they have become quite popular since celebrities and pro athletes started wearing them. Some people are selling them on ebay for a ridiculous profit (the wristbands are to raise money for cancer research you losers.)

I see them a lot more now. Luckily I have a few extra ones. I wear mine every day. It's a very personal reminder to me to squeeze the life out of everyday I've been given. A very simple, inexpensive object but one of the most precious things I own.

2004-08-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

ZOO

I brought Gillian to the San Francisco Zoo today. With everything that's going on with my health, it was one of the most memorable days I've ever had, just being with my girl who I love dearly.