THE "L" WORD
I believe life is all about the "L" word. Here's some quotes I came across in my reading. Enjoy.
"Someday, after we have mastered
the winds, the waves, the tide
and gravity, we shall harness for God
the energies of love.
Then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955)
"Take away love and our earth is a tomb."
-Robert Browning
These are the somewhat daily musings, rants and raves on life and the pursuits of ROMAN SEGUERRE, husband, father, son, friend, spiritual sojourner and cancer survivor from the San Francisco Bay Area.
At the end of life our questions are very simple. Did you live fully? Did you love deeply? Did you give your all?
Monday, August 23, 2004
Sunday, August 22, 2004
JAZZ MARATHON
The JVC Jazz Festival was in town, Jean and I took the plunge. Five acts over 7 hours, egads.
Worth it.
The line-up included Gerald Albright, Jeff Lorber, Richard Elliot, Lee Ritenour,
Rick Braun, Dave Koz, Wayman Tisdale, Jonathan Butler and drummers Rayford Griffin and Ricky Lawson, all heavies in the jazz and music scene.
Wayman's a former NBA player (and all-star I think). He turned his passion for music into a post-NBA career. Plays a mean bass guitar, clean tones and grooves hard. He's legit now. The show ended with Earth Wind & Fire's cover, "Can't Hide Love," which I was hoping they'd play. I was up off my seat. Last Friday we had two free tickets to see EWF at the same venue but we couldn't use them because we were travelling to Disneyland. I actually considered leaving for L.A. right after the show and driving through the night. It pained me not to see them but I had to get my little girl to the Happiest Place on Earth.
Gerald Albright plays a mean axe, they were doing a tribute to Grover Washington Jr. A definite crowd pleaser.
The main reason why we went to the show was to see Jonathan Butler, one of my all time favorite artists. I've been waiting for him to play in the Bay Area. He didn't disappoint. Classical guitar, smooth vocals, soulful and spiritual, entertaining savvy.
One of my life's edicts is "Do What You Love." Listening to good music that moves me is one of them.
The JVC Jazz Festival was in town, Jean and I took the plunge. Five acts over 7 hours, egads.
Worth it.
The line-up included Gerald Albright, Jeff Lorber, Richard Elliot, Lee Ritenour,
Rick Braun, Dave Koz, Wayman Tisdale, Jonathan Butler and drummers Rayford Griffin and Ricky Lawson, all heavies in the jazz and music scene.
Wayman's a former NBA player (and all-star I think). He turned his passion for music into a post-NBA career. Plays a mean bass guitar, clean tones and grooves hard. He's legit now. The show ended with Earth Wind & Fire's cover, "Can't Hide Love," which I was hoping they'd play. I was up off my seat. Last Friday we had two free tickets to see EWF at the same venue but we couldn't use them because we were travelling to Disneyland. I actually considered leaving for L.A. right after the show and driving through the night. It pained me not to see them but I had to get my little girl to the Happiest Place on Earth.
Gerald Albright plays a mean axe, they were doing a tribute to Grover Washington Jr. A definite crowd pleaser.
The main reason why we went to the show was to see Jonathan Butler, one of my all time favorite artists. I've been waiting for him to play in the Bay Area. He didn't disappoint. Classical guitar, smooth vocals, soulful and spiritual, entertaining savvy.
One of my life's edicts is "Do What You Love." Listening to good music that moves me is one of them.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
TIME OFF
I took an extended leave from work starting today. They were totally supportive and kept my status open with an option to come back on my own time frame.
I want to use this time to spend more time with Gilly as well as take care of other personal, medical and legal things and just doing things that I love to do. Gilly will still be in school for the next two weeks and then we'll take her out for the time being. I'm hoping to take a personal retreat and get away for a few days by myself and do some reading, writing and riding. I'm also going to try to meet with other doctors and get a second opinion on my course of options.
Hopefully things will turn out well but I didn't want to regret not taking the time off.
I took an extended leave from work starting today. They were totally supportive and kept my status open with an option to come back on my own time frame.
I want to use this time to spend more time with Gilly as well as take care of other personal, medical and legal things and just doing things that I love to do. Gilly will still be in school for the next two weeks and then we'll take her out for the time being. I'm hoping to take a personal retreat and get away for a few days by myself and do some reading, writing and riding. I'm also going to try to meet with other doctors and get a second opinion on my course of options.
Hopefully things will turn out well but I didn't want to regret not taking the time off.
THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH
I love Disneyland so I couldn't wait to bring Gillian for her first time. G was a little overwhelmed at first but her expressions of wonder and joy on "It's a Small World" were worth the trip. She took pictures with and got autographs from her favorite princesses Snow White and Belle and also Stitch and Minnie. Other characters she was scared of.
Her favorite part of Disneyland (actually California Adventure) was running through the water fountains. Hundreds of dollars and and hundreds of miles travelled and she's having the most fun just getting wet. We could have stayed home and turned on the sprinklers. Actually, there's Disney Playhouse and A Bug's Life 3D Adventure and lots of other things for kids so she had a blast. She was so cute wearing those oversized 3D glasses and swiping at the air in front of her trying to catch the 3D bug.
Gillian wasn't feeling well so her planned afternoon nap back at the hotel turned into an overnight sleep. So I ended going back to Disneyland by myself in the evening. It was fine by all parties. I was like a kid again, waiting in line on rides, walking through the crowds, stopping on Main Street to watch the fireworks, combing through dozens of Disney trinkets and T-shirts. I loved it.
Next fall we're having a big family reunion at Disneyland, with most of my relatives flying in from Hawaii. Can't wait.
I love Disneyland so I couldn't wait to bring Gillian for her first time. G was a little overwhelmed at first but her expressions of wonder and joy on "It's a Small World" were worth the trip. She took pictures with and got autographs from her favorite princesses Snow White and Belle and also Stitch and Minnie. Other characters she was scared of.
Her favorite part of Disneyland (actually California Adventure) was running through the water fountains. Hundreds of dollars and and hundreds of miles travelled and she's having the most fun just getting wet. We could have stayed home and turned on the sprinklers. Actually, there's Disney Playhouse and A Bug's Life 3D Adventure and lots of other things for kids so she had a blast. She was so cute wearing those oversized 3D glasses and swiping at the air in front of her trying to catch the 3D bug.
Gillian wasn't feeling well so her planned afternoon nap back at the hotel turned into an overnight sleep. So I ended going back to Disneyland by myself in the evening. It was fine by all parties. I was like a kid again, waiting in line on rides, walking through the crowds, stopping on Main Street to watch the fireworks, combing through dozens of Disney trinkets and T-shirts. I loved it.
Next fall we're having a big family reunion at Disneyland, with most of my relatives flying in from Hawaii. Can't wait.
Monday, August 16, 2004
SOLD OUT
I went to Niketown in the city to pick up some more Lance Armstrong LiveStrong wristbands and they were all sold out and not expecting any more in.
Apparently they have become quite popular since celebrities and pro athletes started wearing them. Some people are selling them on ebay for a ridiculous profit (the wristbands are to raise money for cancer research you losers.)
I see them a lot more now. Luckily I have a few extra ones. I wear mine every day. It's a very personal reminder to me to squeeze the life out of everyday I've been given. A very simple, inexpensive object but one of the most precious things I own.
I went to Niketown in the city to pick up some more Lance Armstrong LiveStrong wristbands and they were all sold out and not expecting any more in.
Apparently they have become quite popular since celebrities and pro athletes started wearing them. Some people are selling them on ebay for a ridiculous profit (the wristbands are to raise money for cancer research you losers.)
I see them a lot more now. Luckily I have a few extra ones. I wear mine every day. It's a very personal reminder to me to squeeze the life out of everyday I've been given. A very simple, inexpensive object but one of the most precious things I own.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Thursday, August 05, 2004
BAD NEWS
My latest routine blood work test came back positive, which means the cancer (Chronic Mylegenous Leukemia) is back. I was in remission for about a year. There was a 5-6% chance that the cancer would mutate and develop a resistance to the treatment (Gleevec).
They've doubled my dosages to aggressively go after the leukemia and in about a month I'll have another bone marrow biopsy to see if I've responded well or not. Experiencing nausea, headache and fatigue though nothing debilitating.
If the tests show no traces of leukemia cells I'll remain on the present treatment and things will be back to "normal". If there are still cancerous cells remaining, then I'll meet with Stanford doctors to discuss and prepare for a bone marrow transplant. I’m having my brother and sister tested for a donor match.
My oncologist is hopeful that I’ll respond well to my current treatment and there won’t be a need for a transplant at this time. We’ll face that when/if the time comes.
It was quite a shock but I've known there was that possibility so I've been preparing myself in some ways. We're doing okay, feeling strong, positive and hopeful as much as we can though Gillian senses something is not quite right.
Time to brawl.
My latest routine blood work test came back positive, which means the cancer (Chronic Mylegenous Leukemia) is back. I was in remission for about a year. There was a 5-6% chance that the cancer would mutate and develop a resistance to the treatment (Gleevec).
They've doubled my dosages to aggressively go after the leukemia and in about a month I'll have another bone marrow biopsy to see if I've responded well or not. Experiencing nausea, headache and fatigue though nothing debilitating.
If the tests show no traces of leukemia cells I'll remain on the present treatment and things will be back to "normal". If there are still cancerous cells remaining, then I'll meet with Stanford doctors to discuss and prepare for a bone marrow transplant. I’m having my brother and sister tested for a donor match.
My oncologist is hopeful that I’ll respond well to my current treatment and there won’t be a need for a transplant at this time. We’ll face that when/if the time comes.
It was quite a shock but I've known there was that possibility so I've been preparing myself in some ways. We're doing okay, feeling strong, positive and hopeful as much as we can though Gillian senses something is not quite right.
Time to brawl.
Monday, August 02, 2004
QUOTABLE
Kid's say the cutest things. Last night while putting Gillian to bed I went out to get a glass of water, hoping she'd be asleep by the time I came back. After five minutes I came back to find her under the covers, hide and seek style, waiting for me to come back to surprise/scare me.
I said to her "you were hiding under there the whole time I was gone?" She replied, "yeah, I was waiting, I can't breathe under there."
Too funny.
The other night she fell asleep on her side, hands together supporting her face. She looked like an angel. I just sat there and watched her sleep peacefully and suddenly found myself tearing up, she looked so beautiful.
I don't know where that came from, but I think it welled up because of how thankful I am to finally have such a precious gift, and that I'm around to watch her grow up.
Kid's say the cutest things. Last night while putting Gillian to bed I went out to get a glass of water, hoping she'd be asleep by the time I came back. After five minutes I came back to find her under the covers, hide and seek style, waiting for me to come back to surprise/scare me.
I said to her "you were hiding under there the whole time I was gone?" She replied, "yeah, I was waiting, I can't breathe under there."
Too funny.
The other night she fell asleep on her side, hands together supporting her face. She looked like an angel. I just sat there and watched her sleep peacefully and suddenly found myself tearing up, she looked so beautiful.
I don't know where that came from, but I think it welled up because of how thankful I am to finally have such a precious gift, and that I'm around to watch her grow up.
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